Savage Garden One: I Knew I Loved You
by Gaia Less
Summary: "I knew I loved you before I met you..."
1. Savage Garden Chapter One: I Knew I Love...

sg1

TITLE: Savage Garden Chapter One: I Knew I Loved You   
AUTHOR: Gaia Less  
RATING: PG13  
SPOILERS: Pilot, Emily... a few flashbacks from actual scenes. Everything else through the beginning of season seven, I guess.   
  
SUMMARY: I knew I loved you before I met you.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Mulder, Scully, or anyone else you might recognize from the series. They are owned by Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox. I don't own them. No copyright infringement is intended. I didn;t create em, I'm just playing with them. I'll give them back when I'm done. Promise!! Please don't sue me...   
  
All songs belong to Savage Garden.. yeah.. they rock. Also just borrowing them, blah blah blah....  
  
Archive anywhere, but please get my permission first :) tis as easy as emailing me and saying, Yo, Gaia, I wanna put your fanfic, [title here], on my site, okay? You can even simply cut and paste that sentence into an email document! I will reply with something along the lines of Hey, that's cool. Promote me! Yeah! Sweeeeet. See? Tis VERY easy :) Wowwww. Hehe  
  
notes and such at the end  
  
  
  
  
Chapter One  
I Knew I Loved You  
by GL  
  
==========  
a voice asks.  
  
I say, turning around from my seat on the couch.  
  
I didn't know anyone else was up, she says, coming around to the other side of the couch. She sits down.  
  
I couldn't sleep, I admit.  
  
Why not? You worried about Quantico, or who gets the most presents this year? she says, smiling.  
  
I sigh. I guess I'm afraid of making a big mistake. I could tell Dad sure thinks I am.  
  
Yeah, well. It's not his life, Dana, Melissa tells me.  
  
I know that. You know, when I first started med school, it felt so right. It seemed like that was where I was supposed to be. And then by the time I graduated, I just knew it was wrong. But now the FBI feels right. And... what if that's wrong too? I wonder out loud.   
  
There is no right or wrong. Life is just a path. You follow your heart and it will take you where you're supposed to go, Melissa says seriously.  
  
God! You sound like a greeting card! I say with a small smile. I don't believe in fate. I think we have to choose our own path.  
  
Well, just don't mistake the path for what is really important in life, she says, still serious.  
  
Which is what?  
  
The people you're going to meet along the way. You don't know who you're going to meet when you join the FBI. You don't know how your life is going to change or how you're going to change the life of others.  
  
I sigh again. If you say so. I just hope I'm not making a mistake in joining the FBI.  
  
You aren't. You're doing what your heart tells you to do. If it seems right, then go for it. If it turns out later that something else seems right, well, listen to your heart. You'll know where to go from there. Melissa smiles and stands back up. I'm going back to bed. Try to get some sleep, okay, Dana?  
  
Okay. Good night, Missy.  
  
Good night. Merry Christmas.  
  
I lean back on the couch. I wonder what she means about how who I meet can change my life. I close my eyes, and fall asleep.  
  
And I dream.  
  
It's the same dream I have been having for weeks. A man--I don't know his name--is there with me. We're always together. I don't know who this man is, but in the dream, I'm in love with him. He's my best friend, and--  
  
I can't hold onto it. Voices cut into my dream and wake me. Merry Christmas!  
  
It's Christmas morning. Everyone's awake and ready to open their presents. I quickly forget the dream and bring myself back to today.  
  
~*~  
  
I dreamed of the man many more times in the next few months. I tried to figure out who the man was, and what he meant to me. But I couldn't come up with anything.  
  
I went to Quantico a few months later. I did really well, and soon I was Special Agent Dana Scully, not just Dr. Scully. I worked at the Academy for a while.  
  
I dreamed of the man a few more times. I thought maybe he was a student at the Academy, but I couldn't think of anyone like that. So I kept it in the back of my brain, only thinking about it occasionally.  
  
The last time I dreamed of the man was the day before I met with Section Chief Blevins, when he told me that I was going to be assigned to the X-Files.   
  
Agent Scully, thank you for coming on such short notice. Please... Blevins motions for me to sit. We see you've been with us just over two years.  
  
Yes, sir, I answer.   
  
You went to medical school but you chose not to practice. How'd you come to work for the FBI? he asks.  
  
Well, sir, I was recruited out of medical school. Um, my parents still think it was an act of rebellion, but, uh... I saw the FBI as a place where I could distinguish myself.  
  
Are you familiar with an agent named Fox Mulder? another man asks.  
  
Yes, I am, I answer.  
  
Blevins and the other man glance at each other. How so? the other man asks.  
  
By reputation. He's an Oxford educated Psychologist, who wrote a monograph on serial killers and the occult, that helped to catch Monty Props in 1988. Generally thought of as the best analyst in the violent crimes section. He had a nickname at the academy... Spooky Mulder. I smile at the man who is sitting in the corner, smoking a cigarette. He doesn't smile back. I suddenly feel uncomfortable.  
  
What I'll also tell you is that Agent Mulder has developed a consuming devotion to an unassigned project outside the bureau mainstream. Are you familiar with the so-called Blevins asks.  
  
I think for a moment. I believe they have to do with unexplained phenomena.  
  
More or less. The reason you're here, Agent Scully, is we want you to assist Mulder on these X-Files. You will write field reports on your activites, along with your observations on the validity of the work, Blevins says.  
  
Am I to understand that you want me to debunk the X-Files project, sir? I ask.  
  
Agent Scully, we trust you'll make the proper scientific analysis. You'll want to contact Agent Mulder shortly. We look forward to seeing your reports, Blevins tells me.  
  
I stand up and exit the office. It sounds like an easy enough assignment. If this man, Fox Mulder's work was really invalid, then I shouldn't have much trouble debunking it.  
  
I make my way down to his office. Why was it in the basement? Was the FBI really too embarassed of him to give him a real office?   
  
I knock on the door. Sorry, nobody down here but the FBI's most unwanted! he calls out from inside. His voice... it sounds vaguely familiar, but I don't know why.  
  
I go into the office and introduce myself. Agent Mulder even *looks* vaguely familiar. I wonder if I've actually ever met him. *No, you'd remember it if you met him,* I think. Yes, he is definitely someone I wouldn't forget...  
  
*Well then why does he look so damn familiar?*  
  
~*~  
  
Six Years Later  
  
Mulder and I have been working together for seven years. I never did prove the validity, or invalidity, of the X-Files. I have remained working with him. He is my best friend... and I'm falling in love with him.  
  
I don't know how or when it happened... but one day I just realized that I loved him. I didn't know if it was as my best friend or as something more... I just knew it was there.  
  
So much has happened in the past seven years. I'd been abducted, Missy had died, I developed cancer, my cancer had gone into remission, and I'd found a daughter that I never knew I had... and she had died. Mulder has never left my side through any of it. That's why I love him. Because he's always there for me.  
  
I lie awake on the couch in my living room. It's late, after midnight, I'm sure. But I just can't sleep.   
  
Suddenly, Missy's words flood into my mind. The people you're going to meet along the way. You don't know who you're going to meet when you join the FBI. You don't know how your life is going to change or how you're going to change the life of others.  
  
And suddenly, I understand. Everything that had happened... wouldn't have happened without Mulder. Or any of the other people I met along the way. I hadn't known that my life would change so much just by meeting him. I can't blame him for anything that happened, but I know now that if I had just debunked his work like I was supposed to, nothing like this would have ever happened.  
  
I fall asleep eventually, and a dream I hadn't had in seven years came back to me.  
  
The man from those dreams was there. I could see his smiling face. I haven't seen you in so long! I say.  
  
Yes, you have, the man answers. I look up into his face, confused, and suddenly realize who he is.  
  
It's Fox Mulder.  
  
I can't even believe it. The man in the dreams was now the man that I love... and I never even knew it. I love him... I've always loved him. Even before I knew him. And he has no idea.  
  
I have to tell him. About the dreams, about how I feel, about everything. And I have to tell him now.  
  
I get into my car and start driving. I turn on the radio. The song I Knew I Loved You' by Savage Garden is playing.  
  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I think I dreamed you into life  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I have been waiting all my life...  
  
This song seems so perfect, and so right to be on the radio right now. In fact, it's the perfect way to tell him how I feel.  
  
I stop at a music store and look for Savage Garden. I buy the cd with I Knew I Loved You on it. Then I pay for them and go over to Mulder's apartment.   
  
Hi, Scully, Mulder says when he answers the door. What's up?  
  
Mulder, I need to talk to you.  
  
he says. He steps aside so I can come inside.  
  
Do you have a cd player? I ask him.  
  
Yeah, of course. He clears off some stuff off of a table and I put the cd in. Just listen to this for a moment, okay? I tell him.  
  
he says. I can tell he's confused at what I'm getting at.  
  
Maybe it's intuition  
But some things you just don't question  
Like in your eyes  
I see my future in an instant  
And there it goes   
I think I've found my best friend  
  
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy  
But I believe  
  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I think I dreamed you into life  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I have been waiting all my life  
  
There's just just no rhyme or reason  
Only this sense of completion  
And in your eyes   
I see the missing pieces  
I'm searching for  
I think I've found my best friend  
  
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy  
But I believe  
  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I think I dreamed you into life  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I have been waiting all my life  
  
He gets a strange look on his face. Scully, why are you playing this, he says softly. It's not quite a question. He looks kind of nervous as he realizes what I'm getting at.  
  
A thousand angels dance around you  
I am complete now that I've found you  
  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I think I dreamed you into life  
I knew I loved you before I met you  
I have been waiting all my life...  
  
  
I don't know how or when it happened, but Mulder's arms were wrapped around my by the end of the song. He still holds me, even when the song is over. I whisper. I have to tell you something.  
  
He takes my hand and leads me over to the couch. Mulder, I used to have these... dreams. There was a man, and I was in love with him, but I didn't know who he was. I had those dreams before I joined you on the X-Files. Then I met you. You became my best friend, Mulder. I loved you, but... as a friend. And I haven't had that dream since then. Until last night. I dreamed it again last night, and I finally saw the man's face. It was you, Mulder. I knew I loved you... *before* I met you, I said, quoting the song.  
  
Scully... I... I love you too. I love you so much... I never knew...  
  
I smile at him and put my hand on his mouth. I love you, Mulder. So much. Then I lean over and kiss him. Gently at first, but then with more passion. I've loved him for so long, I've been waiting for so long to make this real.  
  
I take a deep breath and smile. I put my head on his shoulder. He holds me tightly. I love you, Scully, he whispers into my hair.  
  
I love you too, I say. I always have.  
  
~*~  



	2. Savage Garden Chapter Two: A Thousand Wo...

sg2

TITLE: Savage Garden Chapter Two: A Thousand Words   
AUTHOR: Gaia Less  
RATING: PG13  
SPOILERS: Pilot, Emily... a few flashbacks from actual scenes. Everything else through the beginning of season seven, I guess.   
  
SUMMARY: none..  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Mulder, Scully, or anyone else you might recognize from the series. They are owned by Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox. I don't own them. No copyright infringement is intended. I didn;t create em, I'm just playing with them. I'll give them back when I'm done. Promise!! Please don't sue me...   
  
All songs belong to Savage Garden.. yeah.. they rock. Also just borrowing them, blah blah blah....  
  
Archive anywhere, but please get my permission first :) tis as easy as emailing me and saying, Yo, Gaia, I wanna put your fanfic, [title here], on my site, okay? You can even simply cut and paste that sentence into an email document! I will reply with something along the lines of Hey, that's cool. Promote me! Yeah! Sweeeeet. See? Tis VERY easy :) Wowwww. Hehe  
  
notes and such at the end  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Two  
A Thousand Words  
by GL  
  
==========  
I can't believe it. I *still* can't believe it. Mulder and I... we're together now. Like, more together than we used to be. We're... together.   
  
I love him. And he loves me, too.  
  
*That* kind of together.  
  
But we have to hide it. We can't let anyone in the FBI know about it. There have been rumors for years, but now that they're true... we can't let it get out. What would Skinner say?  
  
I'm sure that the rumors have been going around even more often. No doubt, people have noticed that Mulder and I have been locking the door more often--there's only two excuses for that that *I* can think of, and they'd be that we've finally figured out the Truth about whatever it is, or something is going on between us. And, fortunately/unfortunately, it's the second of the options.   
  
Not that there's a problem with that.  
  
Other people have probably noticed that Mulder and I have been taking more time off, and that we walk closer together, and just the little things. I know I've noticed.   
  
Not that there's a problem with that, either.  
  
Really, my life for the past two weeks can't get any better.  
  
~*~  
  
Later that evening  
  
Mulder and I are just returning from dinner. We went out to an Italian place that we go to all the time. Then we go back to my apartment. We do that all the time, too.  
  
I shut the door. You know what, Mulder? I whisper.  
  
he whispers back.  
  
I really love you, I say, smiling up at him.   
  
I do too, he says. He starts to bend down, and I lift myself up on my tiptoes, and we meet halfway in a kiss.  
  
God, I love him...  
  
~*~   
  
Three days later  
  
Ugh. This is the fifth time this has happened. The fifth time in the past *three days.*  
  
Mulder is so sure he's close to the Truth. Again. But everytime he gets a call, we just happen to be at dinner, or somewhere else *together.* And of course, he has to drop everything just to go find the Truth.  
  
Is the Truth more important than me? Than *us*?  
  
I love Mulder more than anything, and he says he does too. But I'm beginning to wonder if that's true.   
  
He hangs up his cell phone and starts to put it in his coat. Sorry, Scully. I gotta go... you coming?  
  
No, Mulder. Sit back down. I have to talk to you.  
  
He looks at me suspiciously, and slowly sits back at the table. he asks innocently.  
  
You know what. I have to talk to you, about this. About us. I take a deep breath, hoping I'm not getting myself into more than I want to. But I ignore myself. I can't handle this. I mean, it's not like we get to be out together that often. But every single time in the past few days--no, not even the past few days. It's all the time, Mulder--every time we're together, you have to leave. You just jump up, drop everything. Is it really more important to you?  
  
He stares at me. His mouth hangs open halfway. He doesn't know what to say. He just stares at me blankly for a moment. I-I-I'm sorry, Scully, he stutters. I guess... I just didn't realize--  
  
You just didn't realize. You didn't realize what, Mulder? That lately, you've been putting whatever Truth this is before us?  
  
Scully, it's my work, he says quietly.  
  
And if that's more important that us, then there can't be an us. I stand up, ready to hurry out of the restaurant, but I stand fast for a moment. I'm sorry, Mulder... I love you too much for that.   
  
*Then* I run out of the restaurant.  
  
~*~  
  
Oh, God. What have I done?   
  
Did I break up with him? Are we over? Done?   
  
We are.  
  
It's over, I whisper, with horrible realization.  
  
I go into my apartment, and close the door behind me. I stand in the place where, just the other day, Mulder and I had stood. He told me he loved me. Then I collapse on my knees, sobbing.  
  
~*~  
  
A Week and a Half Later  
  
A brief knock on the door. Mulder lets himself in.   
  
What are you doing here? I ask softly.   
  
I came to, uh, say goodbye, I guess.  
  
*Please, please, just go away, let me leave, don't try to stop me...* I plead silently.   
  
Scully, are you sure you want to leave? he asks.  
  
Yes, Mulder. I am.  
  
Scully, please... we can work this out.  
  
No, Mulder. We can't. I can't stay here anymore, not like this. I'm sorry.  
  
But why? he asks. How can you just... leave?  
  
I just can. I pick up my bag. I turn away from him, not able to look at him anymore. I can't let him see my tears. Not now. If I cry, I am sure I'll never be able to leave.  
  
I don't *want* to leave. I love him so much... I don't want to leave him behind. But I can't stay, knowing every day that this would be between us. The Argument had hurt us, hurt us more deeply than I could take. I am so in love with him, and I want to be with him so badly... and to know that I can't is just... too horrible.  
  
Scully... I-I love you. Please... don't leave me.  
  
I love you too, I whisper. And that's why I have to go.  
  
But... I don't understand.  
  
Neither do I. We just have to accept it. I finally turn to look at him. I'll miss you. God, I'll miss you so much. But... I want you to move on. *I* want to move on. Start over. Please... Fox... can't you try to understand?  
  
He nods, ever so slowly. But I'll never, ever forget you, he tells me.  
  
I know. I won't either. I take a step forward and kiss his forehead, afraid that if my lips found his that I'd never be able to leave him, never be able to let go, never be able to walk out of the door and out of this life. Maybe... we'll meet again someday.  
  
I walk past him and out of the apartment. Behind me, I hear him say, I'll be looking for you, Dana. Always.  
  
Only once I am in the safety and privacy of the elevator, away from him forever, do I let the tears fall.  
  
~*~  
  
We stumble in a tangled web  
decaying friendships almost dead  
And hide behind a mask of lies  
We twist and turn and we avoid  
all hopes of salvage now devoid  
I see the truth inside your eyes  
So take all this noise into your brain  
and send it back again  
I'll bear the cost, shed my skin, call  
you up and then...  
I'll say the words out loud  
  
You could resurrect a thousand  
words to decieve me more and more  
A thousand words to give the   
reasons why I don't need you  
anymore  
  
Time manipulates your heart  
preconceptions torn apart  
Begin to doubt my state of mind  
But I won't go down on what I said  
I won't retract convictions read  
I my perplex, but I'm not blind  
So take all this noise into your brain  
and send it back again  
I'll bear the cost, shed my skin, call  
you up and then...  
I'll say the words out loud  
  
You could resurrect a thousand  
words to decieve me more and more  
A thousand words to give the   
reasons why I don't need you  
anymore  
  
I'll say the words out loud. I'll say a  
thousand words or more.  
  
Manipulation. Fabrication.  
Conversation. Annihilation.  
I'll say a thousand words or more  
Damnation. Frustration.   
Elevation. Procreation.  
I'll say a thousand words or more  
  
You could resurrect a thousand  
words to decieve me more and more  
A thousand words to give the   
reasons why I don't need   
you anymore  
  
  
~*~  



	3. Savage Garden Chapter Three: Santa Monic...

sg3

TITLE: Savage Garden Chapter Three: Santa Monica  
AUTHOR: Gaia Less  
RATING: PG13  
SPOILERS: Pilot, Emily... a few flashbacks from actual scenes. Everything else through the beginning of season seven, I guess.   
  
SUMMARY: Scully moves away and meets David Hayes.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Mulder, Scully, or anyone else you might recognize from the series. They are owned by Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox. I don't own them. No copyright infringement is intended. I didn;t create em, I'm just playing with them. I'll give them back when I'm done. Promise!! Please don't sue me...   
  
All songs belong to Savage Garden.. yeah.. they rock. Also just borrowing them, blah blah blah....  
  
Archive anywhere, but please get my permission first :) tis as easy as emailing me and saying, Yo, Gaia, I wanna put your fanfic, [title here], on my site, okay? You can even simply cut and paste that sentence into an email document! I will reply with something along the lines of Hey, that's cool. Promote me! Yeah! Sweeeeet. See? Tis VERY easy :) Wowwww. Hehe  
  
notes and such at the end  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Three  
Santa Monica  
by GL  
  
==========  
In Santa Monica, in the wintertime  
The lazy streets so undemanding  
I walk into the crowd  
In Sant Monica, you get your coffee from  
The coolest places on the promenade  
Where people dress just so  
Beauty so unnavoidable, everywhere you turn  
It's there  
I sit and wonder what am I doing here?  
  
But on the telephone line I am anyone  
I am anything I want to be  
I could be a super model or  
Norman Mailer  
And you wouldn't know the difference  
Or would you?  
  
In Santa Monica, all the people got modern names  
Like Jake or Mandy  
And modern bodies too  
In Santa Monica, on the boulevard  
You'll have to dodge those in-line skaters  
Or they'll knock you down  
I never felt so lonely,   
Never felt so out of place  
I never wanted something more than this  
  
But on the telephone line I am anyone  
I am anything I want to be  
I could be a super model or  
Norman Mailer  
And you wouldn't know the difference  
Or would you?  
On the telephone line, I am any height   
I am any age I want to be  
I could be a caped crusader, or space invader  
And you wouldn't know the difference  
Or would you?  
  
~*~  
  
I sit outside the hospital on a bench. I stare off into the distance, and I can't help but think of the song Santa Monica. Or of Mulder.  
  
I've only been here a few weeks, but I miss him so much. And the song won't get out of my head, making me think of the life I left behind.  
  
Okay. I'm not in Santa Monica. I'm in a little town in southern Ohio. But the point is, Mulder isn't here. I miss him so much.  
  
Hey, Dr. Scully, a voice says behind me. I turn around. Another doctor, Ann Knight, is standing behind me.  
  
Hi, Dr. Knight, I reply. Please, call me Dana.  
  
Call me Ann, and you've got yourself a deal. Ann sits down next to me on the bench. You look lonely.  
  
I am, I admit. I left behind someone... a friend... who meant a lot to me. I miss him.  
  
I'm sorry. Why did you leave? she asks.  
  
Uh... it's personal.  
  
Ann nods. Hey. I was asked to pass along a message to you. Do you know David Hayes?  
  
Name sounds familiar, I reply, thinking.  
  
Well, word is, he's interested in you, Ann says with a smile. He'd be telling you this himself, but he's an EMT, so he's not actually in the hospital too often. But do you mind if I... give him your number?  
  
I think about Mulder for a minute. But then I realize, it's over. I have to move on. One date won't mean anything... but it could. And if it did, it didn't matter. Mulder and I were over. I'd probably never see him again.  
  
I say with a small smile. Go ahead.  
  
Maybe I won't be so lonely anymore.  
  
~*~  
  
September, 2000  
  
Well. One date wouldn't mean anything. Considering David and I have been together now for a year and a half.   
  
I sit on my couch and turn on the tv. My gaze drifts to the mantle, where I still have a picture of Mulder. Mulder and me. A melancholy feeling sweeps over me, and I stand up and pick up the picture. I press it to my lips for a second, and put it down when there's a knock on the door.  
  
Good. David was here. I had to tell him something.  
  
he says, letting himself in.   
  
I'm over here, I say quietly.  
  
What was so important that you had to tell me? he asks. I look at him. What's the matter? he asks, concerned, seeing the tears on my face.  
  
David, I--  
  
Wait. Wait. I have to ask you something. It's very important. So before you say anything, I just want to tell you this. He takes my hand and leads me to the couch. Dana, I love you. I really do. And--Dana, will you marry me?  
  
My jaw drops. I-I-I... yes. Yes, I will, I reply.   
  
What? I will?   
  
*Dana. You are in love with David now. Stop pining over a man who has probably forgotten about you by now,* I tell myself. But... I... there's something else. David... I'm pregnant.  
  
You are?  
  
I nod. Four months, I whisper.  
  
  
  
He kisses me.   
  
And now, it feels right.  
  
~*~


	4. Savage Garden Chapter Four: Two Beds and...

sg4

TITLE: Savage Garden Chapter Four: Two Beds and a Coffee Machine   
AUTHOR: Gaia Less  
RATING: PG13  
SPOILERS: Pilot, Emily... a few flashbacks from actual scenes. Everything else through the beginning of season seven, I guess.   
  
SUMMARY: Scully's marriage takes a turn for the worse, and she needs someone to turn to.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Mulder, Scully, or anyone else you might recognize from the series. They are owned by Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox. I don't own them. No copyright infringement is intended. I didn;t create em, I'm just playing with them. I'll give them back when I'm done. Promise!! Please don't sue me...   
  
All songs belong to Savage Garden.. yeah.. they rock. Also just borrowing them, blah blah blah....  
  
Archive anywhere, but please get my permission first :) tis as easy as emailing me and saying, Yo, Gaia, I wanna put your fanfic, [title here], on my site, okay? You can even simply cut and paste that sentence into an email document! I will reply with something along the lines of Hey, that's cool. Promote me! Yeah! Sweeeeet. See? Tis VERY easy :) Wowwww. Hehe  
  
notes and such at the end  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Four  
Two Beds and a Coffee Machine  
by GL  
  
==========  
And she takes another step  
Slowly she opens the door  
Check that he is sleeping  
Pick up all the broken glass and furniture on the floor  
Been up half the night screaming now its time to get away  
Pack up the kids in the car  
Another bruise to try and hide  
Another alibi to write  
  
Another ditch in the road  
You keep moving  
Another stop sign  
You keep moving on  
And the years go by so fast  
Wonder how I ever made it through  
  
And there are children to think of  
Baby's asleep in the backseat  
Wonder how they'll ever make it through this living nightmare  
But the mind is an amazing thing  
Full of candy dreams and new toys and another cheap hotel  
Two beds and a coffee machine  
But there are groceries to buy  
And she knows she'll have to go home  
  
Another ditch in the road  
You keep moving  
Another stop sign  
You keep moving on  
And the years go by so fast  
Wonder how I ever made it through  
  
Another bruise to try and hide  
Another alibi to write  
Another lonely higway in the black of night  
But there's hope in the darkness  
You know you've got to make it  
  
Another ditch in the road  
You keep moving  
Another stop sign  
You keep moving on  
And the years go by so fast  
Wonder how I ever made it  
  
~*~  
  
April 28th, 2003  
  
I sit in the darkness of the living room. The VCR says that it's 3:02 am, but I'm not going to sleep anytime soon. I wipe the last of my tears from my face, and gingerly run my fingers over a large bruise on my shoulder. *Damn him...*  
  
I stand up and tiptoe up the stairs. I open the door to my bedroom. David is asleep on the bed with his head under a pillow. The TV is on in the corner. I whisper under my breath.   
  
I close the door and walk down the hallway as silently as possible. I go into my young daughter's room and sit on the edge of her bed. she whispers, waking up.  
  
Shh, sweetie, you have to be quiet. Come on.  
  
Where we going? She looks up at me, with that innocent look that only a two-year-old could give you.  
  
We're... we're going for a ride. Come on, sweetie. We have to get out of here. I pick her up. You can't say a word, sweetie. Okay? She nods. I carry her downstairs and put her coat and shoes on her. I put on my own coat and shoes and we go out to the car. I buckle her into her carseat and start the car.  
  
As I start the car, the light in my bedroom turns on. I see David appear at the window. he screams angrily.   
  
~*~  
  
5:14 am  
  
I stop for gas after driving for two straight hours. Lexie is asleep in the backseat. God, how could David do this? I hated to have to leave in the middle of the night. But what else could I do? Allow Lexie and I to suffer like this? I had to get out of there, for Lexie's sake.  
  
After I fill the tank with gas, I get back in the car and keep driving. I wonder where I'm going.   
  
Then I have an idea. I know who can help me.  
  
~*~  
  
4:21 pm  
  
We finally get to Washington. I hope Mulder is still living in the same place. I haven't seen or even spoken to him in four years.  
  
I carry Lexie up to his apartment. I stare at the door for a moment, at the number 42. I'd been here so many times, but now I feel like a stranger.  
  
Then I knock on the door. I bite my lip, hoping that he'd still want to see me. After all, I *had* left him behind four years ago.   
  
The door opens. Fox Mulder stares out at me for a moment, his mouth hanging open slightly. I stare sadly at him. he whispers.  
  
Hi, Mulder.  
  
~*~  
  
  



	5. Savage Garden Chapter Five: I Don't Know...

sg5

TITLE: Savage Garden Chapter Five: I Don't Know You Anymore  
AUTHOR: Gaia Less  
RATING: PG13  
SPOILERS: Pilot, Emily... a few flashbacks from actual scenes. Everything else through the beginning of season seven, I guess.   
  
SUMMARY: Scully returns to Mulder for help after five years of separation.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Mulder, Scully, or anyone else you might recognize from the series. They are owned by Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox. I don't own them. No copyright infringement is intended. I didn;t create em, I'm just playing with them. I'll give them back when I'm done. Promise!! Please don't sue me...   
  
All songs belong to Savage Garden.. yeah.. they rock. Also just borrowing them, blah blah blah....  
  
Archive anywhere, but please get my permission first :) tis as easy as emailing me and saying, Yo, Gaia, I wanna put your fanfic, [title here], on my site, okay? You can even simply cut and paste that sentence into an email document! I will reply with something along the lines of Hey, that's cool. Promote me! Yeah! Sweeeeet. See? Tis VERY easy :) Wowwww. Hehe  
  
notes and such at the end  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Five  
I Don't Know You Anymore  
by GL  
  
==============  
I would like to visit you for a while  
Get away and out of this city  
Maybe I shouldn't have called but someone had to be the first to break  
We can go sit on your back porch  
Relax  
Talk about anything  
It don't matter  
I'll be courageous if you pretend that you've forgiven me  
  
Because I don't know you anymore  
I don't recognize this place  
The picture frames have changed and so has your name  
We don't talk much anymore  
We keep running from the pain  
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again  
  
Springtime in the city  
Always such a relief from the winter freeze  
The snow was more lonely than cold if you know what I mean  
Everyone's got an agenda  
Don't stop keep that chin up you'll be all right  
Can you believe what a year it's been  
Are you still the same?  
Have your opinions changed?  
  
Because I don't know you anymore  
I don't recognize this place  
The picture frames have changed and so has your name  
We don't talk much anymore  
We keep running from these sentences  
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again  
  
I know I let you down  
Again and again  
I know I never really treated you right  
I've paid the price  
I'm still paying for it everyday  
  
So maybe I shouldn't have called  
Was it too soon to tell?  
Oh what the hell  
It doesn't really matter  
How do redefine something that never really had a name?  
Has your opinion changed?  
  
Because I don't know you anymore  
I don't recognize this place  
The picture frames have changed and so has your name  
We don't talk much anymore  
We keep running from the pain  
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again  
  
I see your face  
I see your face  
  
~*~  
  
April 12th, 2003  
  
The words to the song echo in my head as if they are permanently etched there. They seem so true, so real to me.   
  
I should have never let any of it happen. Maybe I shouldn't have even let myself fall in love with her. If I hadn't, we'd still be together, at least as friends.  
  
But no. I fell in love with her. And then the littlest thing set me off... I don't even remember what! I don't remember *what* The Argument was about... yet The Argument is the reason I haven't seen her in God knows how long... has it been four years? Oh, my God... She was so angry at me... and I was angry at her too, mostly for being mad at me. I was hurt and confused, I didn't understand. But then she told me she was quitting. Resigning. Whatever the hell you want to call it. She was leaving me. Forever.  
  
The last time I ever saw her was the day she left. I'd gone over to her apartment one last time, mostly to give her back the key that she'd trusted me with for the past seven years.  
  
Scully, are you sure you want to leave? I had asked.  
  
Yes, Mulder. I am, she'd answered curtly.  
  
Scully, please... we can work this out, I pleaded.  
  
No, Mulder. We can't. I can't stay here anymore. Not like this. I'm sorry.  
  
And then she was gone.  
  
I haven't spoken to her in almost four years, but I've thought about her every single day. I am no longer on the X-Files. They were closed shortly after she left. Now I'm back in Violent Crimes... and missing Scully more than ever.  
  
I have to talk to her.  
  
~*~  
  
April 28th, 2003  
  
I found Scully's phone number, but I was too afraid to call. I was afraid of what she would say. I was afraid that she'd hang up on me.  
  
So I did some research. Being in the FBI is helpful that way sometimes. I managed to get her address. She's living in Ohio now. So I pack an overnight bag, and start to get ready to leave.  
  
As I am packing my bag, there's a knock at the door. I go to answer it. I open the door.  
  
It's a petite woman with fiery red hair. She's looking down at the floor, but I can still see that she has a dark bruise on the side of her face. A little girl is holding her hand. Both of them look tired and scared.  
  
The woman looks up at me. I gasp when I realize who it is.   
  
Hi, Mulder, she says sadly.  
  
Oh, my God... come in. I hold the door open for her and the little girl. They come in and sit down on the couch. I sit down beside her. What happened to you? I ask.  
  
Oh, God... Mulder... she says, starting to cry. I open my arms, and she cries on my shoulder. She sobs and holds onto me.   
  
What happened, Dana? I ask her. She pulls away from me. I touch the bruise on her cheek gently. She winces slightly.  
  
Oh, God, Mulder... I-I... I moved away from here four years ago... I didn't want to leave you, but... I got married, Mulder. This is my daughter, Alexia, she says, putting her hand on the child's shoulder. But... my husband... David, he... he was so horrible... He hurt me. Not just this time... other times too. That's why I came here, I had to get away from him, I couldn't live like that, and neither could Lexie. You're the only one I could think of to come to.  
  
I'm so sorry, Dana, I whisper to her. I smile sadly. Actually, I was about to come and see you.  
  
You were? She smiles back. If you did... I don't know *what* David would have done.  
  
Well, then, I'm glad you came here. You'll be safe here.  
  
She nods. I missed you so much, Mulder. I wanted to see you again.  
  
I missed you, too, I admit.  
  
I was so afraid that you'd hate me for leaving you...  
  
I couldn't ever hate you, Dana. I love you, I say, before I realize what I'm saying.  
  
Oh, God... she says, closing her eyes. I love you too...  
  
Lexie says, tugging on Dana's sleeve. She turns around. Who is that?  
  
This is my friend, Fox, she says.  
  
Hi, Lexie, I say, waving a little. She smiles shyly. God, she looks just like her mother.  
  
Dana turns back to me. I'm sorry I ever left you, Mulder, she says softly.  
  
I missed you, I say again.  
  
She nods. I left because I couldn't be with you anymore... because I lo-- she cuts off. I couldn't *live* with whatever it was between us. I loved you, Mulder. I really did.  
  
Well then why did you marry him? I ask. I'm sorry... I didn't mean to sound like that...  
  
No, you're right. I shouldn't have married him. If I had known that was going to happen, I'd never have married him. Y-you know, I-I should just go. She stands up.  
  
I grab her hand. No, wait, Dana. You've come so far... and I *want* to see you.   
  
She looks down at me, her eyes filling up with tears. Then she sits back down next to me. Neither of us speak for a few moments. Neither of us know what to say. So many things that I've wanted to say, to tell her, to do, but I can't bring myself to. I've thought of you, she says quietly after a few moments.  
  
You have? I say, a little more incredulously than I intended to.  
  
She nods. I thought about you so much when I first came here. I could hardly stop... I missed you so much. And then I met David... we got married about a year later. I was pregnant with Lexie. He seemed to love me then... She closes her eyes. I never thought he'd do this... A tear slips down her cheek at the memory.  
  
Oh, Dana, I say, reaching over and touching her cheek gently. She looks up at me, into my eyes again. She reaches for me again and holds onto me for dear life. I hold her close. This is what I've been missing...   
  
I'm sorry I left you, Mulder, she says into my shoulder. I loved--I love you. I still love you. It sounds like she's admitting that to herself for the first time.  
  
I love you too, Dana.  
  
A sudden flashback to the day I realized that enters my mind. She had come to my apartment, and played I Knew I Loved You' for me. She told me that she loved me, that she always had. Even before I knew her. And I told her I loved her too...   
  
A few weeks later came The Argument.  
  
But in that two weeks that we had, *together,* I had gone out to buy Savage Garden's cd, Affirmation. Because that song, it was *our* song. It still is.  
  
And then, after she was gone, the song I Don't Know You Anymore' took on a new meaning for me. And I've listened to it so often, just to think of her.  
  
And now, four years later... She's finally back here, in my arms. It seems so right... yet so wrong. What about everything that had happened to her in the past four years? She'd been married, she had a daughter to take care of... and I expect that I can just waltz back into her life?   
  
I hold her for a few more moments in silence. I croak, at the same moment as she speaks.  
  
Or sings, rather.  
  
I knew I loved you, before I met you... she begins, her eyes welling up with tears.   
  
I join in. I think I dreamed you into life. I knew I loved you before I met you. I have been waiting all my life, we sing together.  
  
I still love you, Mulder, she repeats. I never stopped loving you. Not even when I was with David. Or rather, when I loved David. I could never forget you. Ever.  
  
I take her hands in mine. You don't know how much I've been wanting to hear that. I thought... when you left, I thought you'd never want to see me again.  
  
I didn't want to. I couldn't work with someone that I loved so much. When I came here, I tried so hard to forget you. To move on with my life... that's why, I think, I married David. Yes, at one time I loved him, and yes, leaving him was painful, but... he wasn't you, Mulder. And I'd rather be with someone who I love... who I *still* love. She stares down at our hands. I didn't date at all for a year or so. I was afraid... and I wanted it to be you. But when I met David, I never expected to see you again, and--  
  
I capture her mouth in a kiss before she can even finish. She puts her arms around my neck, returning the kiss. I'm here now. And I never want to leave you again.  
  
I'll never leave you again. I can't go back there... ever. I can't go back to him. He doesn't love me... But God, I love you, she whispers, leaning her forehead against mine.  
  
I love you too. I grin at her. We have four years worth of this to make up for, Dana, I kid her.  
  
four years... she says, closing her eyes. Has it really been that long?  
  
  
  
  
  
Neither of us speak for a long time. We just sit there on the couch, our arms around each other, our foreheads still touching. It's such a wonderful moment... and I want it to last a long time. I never want to let go of her, ever again.  
  
I can't believe you're really here... I say, smiling. I've been wanting to see you for so long, but I was afraid to call.  
  
So was I. I just... came. I didn't want to call first, because I was afraid you wouldn't want to see me. And I *had* to see you.  
  
Why wouldn't I want to see someone that I spent six years of my life with? I ask, sounding almost offended.  
  
And more than half as much time without, she adds sadly. I regretted ever leaving you. I mean, I... I have a new life here now... I want to come back... back home, to you, but I can't. I have to go back... not back to David, but I have to go back to Ohio eventually.  
  
I nod, not wanting to show her how sad I was about that fact. I had been courageous the whole time I was here, with her, and I couldn't falter now. I understand, Dana.  
  
She is silent for a moment, and then pulls her head back a little to look at me. I can't come to be with you now... but--  
  
--maybe I could come to be with you, I finish for her. God, even after four years, we can *still* finish each other's sentences. That felt good.   
  
She smiles at me through her tears, a wide, genuine smile that I had so rarely seen when she was with me.  
  
I *want* to be with you, Dana. But... are you sure that would be all right? I mean, with David... and everything that's happened for you--  
  
No. No, Mulder. I've wanted to be with you, for four years. I just assumed... that that would never happen.  
  
Anything can happen, Dana, I say, kissing her again.  
  
After we finish, she says, Yeah. Anything. She turns around to look at Lexie, who has fallen asleep on the couch next to us.  
  
Dana... how? I ask. A simple question.  
  
I don't know. I'd told David that I couldn't have children... that was before we even got married. And then... actually, the day he proposed to me... I found out I was pregnant. It came as such a surprise. I didn't know how to explain it. Well, I guess it was possible, but... so unlikely. I wasn't expecting it at all... and then... I was going to call you then, but... I was too afraid.  
  
We got married a few months later. It was just a small wedding, family and... close friends, she says sadly, giving me an apologetic look. Lexie was born... and then David started... I don't know. He'd get drunk. And really violent sometimes. I didn't know what to do. And I was still too afraid to call you.  
  
Afraid of what, Dana?  
  
Afraid of the same thing you were afraid of. That you'd hate me. That *you* never wanted to see me again. The thought of seeing you again... it scared me to death. That's why I was so surprised to see you this morning. I just wanted to forget about you, about us, about everything.   
  
Obviously, I didn't. I couldn't. Another smile crept at the corners of her lips.   
  
We sat and talked about everything that had happened in the past four years. We caught up on each other's lives. Suddenly, a cell phone interrupted our conversation.  
  
Oh... it's me, Dana says, pulling out her phone. A few moments later... Oh, God... how long ago?... Oh, God... No, Ann, actually, I'm in Washington... DC... Yeah, it happened again, I had to leave. I'm sorry I didn't call in... Thanks for calling me, Ann... Okay... Okay. She turns the phone off and puts a hand over her mouth. Oh my God... she whispers, barely audible.  
  
What happened? I ask, concerned.  
  
It's David... he's dead.  
  
  
  
He ran his car into a tree. He was drunk.  
  
Oh, God, Dana... I'm sorry.  
  
Don't be. Her eyes convey a definite sadness, but something else too... almost relief. I wasn't ever going back to him anyway... I'm free now. A tear slips down her cheek, over the dark bruise. I won't hurt anymore. She smiles at me.  
  
But what about Lexie? I ask her.  
  
David was never a father to her. I was afraid that he would hurt her too... I doubt he ever really loved either of us. She reaches down and brushes Lexie's hair out of her eyes with her fingers. Even if I tell her, she's too little to understand anyway. Not until she's older.  
  
I nod.  
  
But... she really does need a dad. She always has. I hoped David would make a good father... he never did. She looks at the wedding ring on her hand. Then she slips it off of her her finger and puts it in her pocket. I should have done that a long time ago. I should have left a long time ago. I asked for a divorce a few months ago... he didn't listen. He... he just hit me. She closed her eyes tightly, as if fighting off a horrible nightmare--a nightmare that she knew was her reality.  
  
Dana... you don't deserve to be treated like that. You deserve so much more. You deserve to be happy.  
  
Thank you, Fox, she says softly. Thank you so much.  
  
For what?  
  
For being here for me. For not hating me for leaving.  
  
Thank you for turning to me for help. I love you, Dana. I always have. And I always will.  
  
She smiles. I love you too, she whispers. But... I really need to go back home... I should go to the hospital, finish all of this up.  
  
I nod sadly. Then I get an idea. I'll come with you, Dana.  
  
She looks up at me. Will you?  
  
Of course I will. I lean over and kiss her.   
  
Lexie sits up. Mama, wanna go home, she says.  
  
Oh, sweetie... I know. She looks at her watch, and then glances out the window, where night is quickly falling. she says. Fox... do you think we could stay here tonight?  
  
Sure... if you don't mind the couch, I smile.  
  
You're still sleeping on the couch? she asks, almost laughing.  
  
I shrug. I haven't needed to get a real bed.  
  
Well, I don't mind... as long as you promise me one thing.  
  
What's that?  
  
That you'll hold me all night.  
  
Sounds like a deal, I say with a grin.  
  
~*~  
  
5:15 am  
  
We wake up to the sound of Lexie crying. Dana sits up suddenly. she says, standing up and walking across the room to where Lexie is sleeping on the big, soft chair in the corner. Sweetheart, what's the matter?  
  
Wanna go home! she cries. I miss my dollies!  
  
Oh, sweetie, I do too... We're going home later, okay?  
  
We are?  
  
Yeah. We are. Fox, what time is it? she asks me.  
  
Uh... too early to get up, I reply, noting that it's still dark out. Sorry, I don't have my watch.  
  
Okay. Sweetie, go back to sleep, all right? We'll go home in the morning.  
  
Wanna sleep with you and Daddy, she sobs sleepily. Dana glances at me. *Daddy?* She's probably just too tired to realize that I'm not Daddy. Then again, Dana had said that David had never been close to Lexie, and she probably just figured that since her mommy was sleeping with me on the couch, then I must be Daddy now.  
  
Is that okay with you, Fox? Dana asks. She doesn't bother to correct Lexie for calling me Daddy.'   
  
Uh, it's fine with me, but there won't be much room here, I say.  
  
Dana carries Lexie over to the couch and sits next to me. Holding her daughter in her lap, she leans back against me, and manages to get the three of us all in a comfortable position. I turn on my side, giving Dana and Lexie more room, and I put my arms around Dana's waist. I take a deep breath and close my eyes and fall back asleep.  
  
*****  
5:39 am  
  
I try to fall back asleep, but I can't. I hold Lexie, who has already fallen back asleep. I would go put her back over on the easy chair, but Mulder's arms are around me again and he has already fallen back asleep, too. So I listen to his slow, rhythmic breathing and close my eyes.   
  
Lexie whispers.  
  
Damn. I was *almost* asleep. What, Lexie?  
  
Where's Daddy?  
  
I still haven't told her about the accident. She's only two--and although she's ahead of most two year olds her age, she probably wouldn't understand. Lexie, I have to tell you something. When we left our house last night, we weren't going to go back to see Daddy anymore. Because... he hurt me, and I didn't want him to hurt you. But... now we *really* aren't going to see Daddy anymore.  
  
  
  
Sweetie... Daddy got in a car crash today. He's dead.  
  
What's that?  
  
It means... it means he went away, and he can't ever come back.  
  
Kinda like us?  
  
No, Lexie. It's... different. I think for a moment. Do you remember when your goldfish died?  
  
When he turned upside down and didn't swim around anymore?  
  
Yeah. Like that. It's sort of like... he went to sleep, and can't wake up.  
  
Lexie looks scared. Are we gonna flush Daddy down the toilet?  
  
I can't help but smile. No, sweetie.  
  
Okay, good. She's quiet for a moment, before asking, So is that my daddy now? she asks, pointing to Mulder.  
  
I bite my lip and stare over her shoulder. Maybe, sweetie.  
  
'Cause I think he's a good daddy. He's nice.  
  
I think so, too, I whisper. Go back to sleep, okay, sweetie?  
  
Okay, Mama. She closes her eyes.   
  
A few minutes later, when I'm sure she's asleep again. I gently move away from Mulder and carry Lexie back over to the easy chair.  
  
*****  
5:51 am  
  
Dana gets up off the couch and carries Lexie over to the chair. I open my eyes slightly and watch her walk back over to the couch. She lays back down next to me, and I put my arms around her again. You were talking to Lexie, I whisper.   
  
Oh, I'm sorry... did I wake you?  
  
Don't worry about it, I tell her.  
  
She wanted to know where Daddy was, and why you weren't him. She realized that you weren't Daddy. She smiles. She says that you'd make a good daddy though, because you're nice. The smile turns into a frown. But that's probably because you haven't hit me yet.  
  
I'd never hit you, Dana. I'd never do anything to hurt you, I say, pulling her closer. And I don't know what kind of monster could ever do that... especially to you.  
  
Her face is pressed into my shoulder, and I feel her warm tears soaking into my shirt. I'm so sorry I left you, Fox... she whispers. I wish I could go back and change everything... I wish that *you* were Lexie's daddy.   
  
I whisper. I hold her for another moment, and then I let go of her and get up off of the couch. I walk over to my desk and open a drawer. When I find what I'm looking for, I take it back over to the couch.  
  
Dana reaches into her purse and pulls out an envelope. she says. Before you say anything, I want you to read this.  
  
What is it?  
  
It's a letter that I've started writing... I wasn't sure when I'd have the courage to send it, but... She shrugs. I kept it in my purse, hoping David wouldn't find it. But I want you to read it now.  
  
I stare at her for a moment before taking the envelope from her.  
  
The letter is dated June 14th, 2000. Dear Fox, it reads. I lean back on the couch.   
  
Wow. It's been a long time. I was just writing to tell you that I miss you. four years, Fox. I can't believe it. So much has happened to me... I guess more for the better. I got married three years ago, and I have a beautiful one-year-old daughter named Alexia. Unfortunately, my husband David and I haven't been getting along very well lately.   
  
I've been thinking about you a lot, Fox. About what I told you in the few weeks before I left. I told you about the dreams I had, about the dreams that you were in. I've dreamed it again. So many times, even after David and I got married. Even while I was in love with him, I think. You were always there for me in those dreams, and you were always there for me when we were together. I am still so in love with you Fox. I've never stopped loving you.  
  
I miss you so much. I hope you've forgiven me for leaving. I hope you can forgive me. I'm sorry I left you. I feel so terrible. I've never forgiven myself for leaving behind what we had. I'm so sorry, and I don't blame you if you don't forgive me. I just wanted you to know that, that I still love you, and I hope you can still love me.  
  
I know that I haven't seen or spoken to you in four years. I'm also sorry about that. I should have kept in touch. I spent seven years of my life with you. And I want to spend more of my life with you. Please come to see me, or write to me. Or call. Whatever. I just miss you so much, and I want to see you again. Even though I'm married now, Fox... well, I do know that I love you so much more than I love David. And I know he doesn't love me anymore. I want you to know that you mean so much more to me.  
  
I keep thinking of you, and then of David, and I can't help but think, what if I'd married you? What if I'd never left... would we have gotten married, Fox? I still think it should have been you, I never should have married David, and it should have been you. I know I would have been much happier.  
  
Fox, I love you now, I loved you when I was with you, and I will always love you. Please know that. I hope you can forgive me for leaving. I love you.  
  
Love,   
Dana  
  
I read it again, and again, not believing this, not believing that she still loved me after all these years. I quickly swipe at my face, not wanting to cry, but... it means so much...  
  
And a moment later, she sits down on my lap and is in my arms again.   
  
You mean it, Dana?  
  
All of it. Every word.  
  
Dana... I'm glad you married David. I know what happened to you is horrible... But... if you loved him when you married him, that's what matters. Don't regret it.  
  
  
  
I love you too, I say, answering what she was going to say, reading what she was thinking. I always will. No matter what. I don't...  
  
I haven't loved David in almost two years, she interrupts me softly. Ever since he started... hitting me. She pauses. But I can't... we can't... let our pasts haunt us. Or let our pasts get in the way of the present, and the future...  
  
Exactly. But... I was in your past, too, Dana.  
  
But you're also in my present... and hopefully... my future...  
  
I've been wanting to say this for so long... I open my mouth to speak, but then nothing comes out. *Dammit, Mulder, don't clam up now...* I tell myself. I clench my mouth shut for a moment, having a silent argument with myself.   
  
I choke out a moment later. I stand up and put her down on the couch where I had been sitting. I kneel down in front of her. *God, this is corny...* I take the small velvet box out of my pocket. I've had this for so long... and I never thought I'd have the chance to give it to her.   
  
I take her hands in mine. *No turning back now.* Finding my voice, I say, Dana, I've loved you for so long. And I've known you for twelve years now... and just because five of those years were lost... we're here now. And I love you, more than ever. I know that your husband just died today... you don't even have to answer me now. But Dana... will you marry me?  
  
Oh, God... she says, throwing her arms around my neck. She moves from the couch to sit next to me on the floor. Fox Mulder, I have been waiting years for you to say that...  
  
So is that a yes? I ask with a smile.  
  
It's an of course, she says, kissing me.   
  
My God... why did I wait so long to tell her? Why did I wait seven years, and then let her leave me for another four? Or maybe I should ask *how* did I wait so long? How did I *not* come to see her? Those four years without Dana were the longest four years of my life. Now I never intended to let her go, ever again.   
  
We sat there in the living room, holding each other, for a long time. Neither of us spoke, or moved from where we were sitting on the floor. We sat there until sunlight began to come in through the windows.   
  
It's morning, Dana whispers.  
  
Well, good morning, I whisper back, smiling. Still holding her, I give her a kiss.  
  
I love you, Fox.  
  
I love you, Dana... more than life itself. I hold her tightly and close my eyes. This was really happening. I *didn't* dream it. I stare down into Dana's eyes, and she gazes back up at me and smiles. So this is what real love felt like. You could just look at someone, and know *exactly* what they were thinking. Dana and I had been able to do that for years, back when she lived here.  
  
a little voice says. We turn to see Lexie sitting up in the chair.  
  
Morning, sweetheart, Dana says, but she doesn't get up. Lexie is looking at us strangely.  
  
Lexie gets up off the chair and walks over to where Dana and I are sitting. Are you in love with my mama? she asks.  
  
I smile, wondering how a two-year-old could be so perceptive of this. *Just like her mom.* Yes, I am in love with your mommy, I tell her, holding Dana a little closer.  
  
Lexie's face breaks into a huge grin. Are you... are you gonna be my daddy? she asks excitedly.  
  
Dana smiles at me. I gaze at her for a moment, before grinning and saying to Lexie, Yeah. I'm gonna be your daddy.  
  
~*~  
  
  



	6. Savage Garden Chapter Six: The Best Thin...

sg6

TITLE: Savage Garden Chapter Six: The Best Thing   
AUTHOR: Gaia Less  
RATING: PG13  
SPOILERS: Pilot, Emily... a few flashbacks from actual scenes. Everything else through the beginning of season seven, I guess.   
  
SUMMARY: Mulder moves in with Scully and gets used to their new life together, and being a father.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Mulder, Scully, or anyone else you might recognize from the series. They are owned by Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox. I don't own them. No copyright infringement is intended. I didn;t create em, I'm just playing with them. I'll give them back when I'm done. Promise!! Please don't sue me...   
  
All songs belong to Savage Garden.. yeah.. they rock. Also just borrowing them, blah blah blah....  
  
Archive anywhere, but please get my permission first :) tis as easy as emailing me and saying, Yo, Gaia, I wanna put your fanfic, [title here], on my site, okay? You can even simply cut and paste that sentence into an email document! I will reply with something along the lines of Hey, that's cool. Promote me! Yeah! Sweeeeet. See? Tis VERY easy :) Wowwww. Hehe  
  
notes and such at the end  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Six  
The Best Thing  
by GL  
  
==========  
  
April 29th, 2003  
2:15 pm  
  
Mommy, are we going home now? Lexie asks after.   
  
Dana replies. We'll leave as soon as Fox finishes packing a bag. He's going to stay with us for a few days.  
  
I'm here, I say, coming into the kitchen.   
  
You ready? Dana asks, turning to me.  
  
I say. I glance down at her hands, and at the ring. I look back up and grin at her.  
  
Okay then. Let's go.  
  
Lexie says, standing up.   
  
We go down to Dana's car, and we start driving.  
  
~*~  
  
7:21 pm  
  
We stop at McDonald's to get something for dinner. While Lexie is playing happily with her Happy Meal toy, I realize something I didn't think of before.   
  
  
  
I just realized something. I'm going to have to go back to Washington in a few days to pack up my apartment.  
  
She smiles. I didn't think of that either. Of course, I didn't think I'd be bringing you back with me. Don't worry about it. It's a few hours from my house to Washington.  
  
I nod. I don't mind making the trip, it's for her. I want to be with her as much as possible, and the sooner I get moved in, the sooner that will happen.  
  
I smile. *Moved in.* It sounded kind of funny. I'm moving into Dana's house... I'm marrying her. God, her husband's been dead for barely twenty-four hours, and she's already agreed to marry me. It's crazy... but it's true.  
  
Fox? What are you thinking about? Dana asks, taking my hand across the table.  
  
I reply with a smile. I'm still kind of shocked by the whole fact that we're... together again. And that we're getting married.  
  
She smiles back at me. Well, we should probably get going. We're only about an hour from home.  
  
I repeat softly, standing up from the table. The three of us walk out of the restaurant and head for home.  
  
~*~  
  
8:33 pm  
  
Well, here we are, Dana says, pulling into the driveway. We should probably go over to the hospital tonight to finish up... to take care of everything.  
  
I nod and get out of the car.  
  
Dana opens the door to the back seat and gets Lexie out of her car seat. Lexie, how would you like to go visit Grandma for a while tonight?  
  
Lexie cries agreeably. She runs up to the house and holds the screen door open. Dana goes over to unlock the door, and Lexie immediately runs upstairs, presumably to her room.  
  
I'll call my mom, she says. I didn't call her when I left... she's probably worried. Dana goes into the kitchen, and I sit down on the couch.   
  
*****  
I dial Mom's phone number and wait as it rings. she says, answering it.  
  
Hi, Mom.  
  
Dana? Oh my God... where have you been? I was so worried!  
  
Don't worry, Mom... I'm fine. I just had to get away from David...  
  
Did you get in another fight?  
  
Yeah. Um... you didn't hear? I ask.  
  
Hear what?  
  
Ann called me yesterday--you know, Dr. Knight, from work?--She told me that David was in a car accident... he was drunk, and he died.  
  
Oh, Dana... I'm sorry.  
  
Don't be. I was leaving him, Mom. I couldn't be with him anymore.  
  
Where did you go?  
  
I went back to Washington. I went to Mulder's apartment.  
  
Mulder... Fox Mulder?  
  
I pause. I look down at my ring and smile. Mom... I wasn't in love with David anymore. Not after the way he treated me. But Fox... I realized that after all of these years, I'm still in love with him. And... we're getting married.  
  
Mom cries. Are you sure about this, Dana? And so soon after David?  
  
Yes, Mom. Speaking of David, I have to go down to the hospital to take care of some things. Would you mind watching Lexie tonight?  
  
Of course. I'll be over in a little while. Fox is there now?  
  
Yeah. We have to go back to his apartment in a few days to pack up, but he came back here with me for now.  
  
Well, Dana... I'm happy for you and Fox, but I hope that you're all right, she says, referring to everything that had happened with David.  
  
I am, I promise. I'll see you in a little while. Bye, Mom.  
  
Goodbye, Dana.  
  
I walk back into the other room. Fox is sitting on the couch, looking around the living room. My mom will be here in a few minutes.  
  
He nods. Does she live nearby?  
  
Yeah. She moved here to help take care of Lexie shortly after David and I got married. I sit down next to him. I sigh. I can't believe any of this.  
  
Neither can I. I thought I'd never see you again... and then I thought you hated me and wouldn't want to see me again, Fox says.  
  
When I married David, I told myself that I was supposed to love him. That you had been a part of my life before, but weren't at that time. But... I never really loved him, I admit. Not the way I've loved you for so long.  
  
He sighs and smiles. I'm glad... that you don't have to be hurt anymore. The minute I saw you there at my door, with this... he touches the bruise on my cheek, ...I didn't even recognize you at first. But when you looked up, God, Dana, I just wanted to cry for you. I can tell you've been through a lot of pain here. I nod, my eyes filling with tears. He puts his arms around me and holds me for a moment. I start to cry. I'm not sure for what, whether it's for love, or fear, or pain... Fox gently rubs my back. It's okay, Dana... I'm here now. I'm here.  
  
Thank you, Fox, I say a minute later, sitting up and wiping my eyes. His hand goes to my cheek, and he wipes away the tears that are still there.  
  
There is a knock at the door, and my mom comes in. Taking off her shoes, she smiles at me and Fox, until she sees that I've been crying. Her expression suddenly turns to concern. Dana, what's the matter?  
  
Nothing, Mom. I'm fine now. I stand up to go give her a hug.   
  
Oh, Dana, what's this? she says, seeing the bruise.   
  
I nod. I'm okay. Then I smile. Fox is here.  
  
Hello, Fox, Mom says, and gives him a hug.   
  
He returns the hug almost awkwardly. Hi, Mrs. Scully.   
  
Um, Lexie's upstairs, Mom, I say. She's been looking forward to seeing you. Fox and I should be going now.  
  
All right. I'll see you later, Mom says, heading upstairs.  
  
Well, let's go, I say quietly, putting on my jacket. Fox nods, and I take his arm as we walk out to the car.  
  
*****  
9:19 pm  
  
We ride to the hospital in silence. I can tell by Dana's face that she's not looking forward to this. Personally, I'm not either. I don't want to see the bastard who treated her the way that he did. He had changed her somehow... I wasn't sure how exactly, but she was a lot different than the Dana Scully that I knew four years ago, and it wasn't just her last name.  
  
Dana holds onto my arm again as we walk into the hospital. She goes up to a desk, and the attendant greets her solemnly. Hi, Dr. Hayes.  
  
she replies. Is, uh... is Dr. Knight here?  
  
Yeah, but I think she's with someone... Hold on, I'll page her.  
  
Dana and I stand there for a moment, before a dark-haired woman wearing a white doctor's coat comes up to us. Hi, Ann, Dana says.  
  
Hi, Dana. I'm so sorry about David, the doctor says, giving Dana a hug.  
  
I'm all right, Dana says confidently. We were... I told you that I wanted a divorce. Ann nods. I left him the other night... we, uh, got in another fight.  
  
The doctor nods again. Then she glances at me.  
  
Oh, I'm sorry, Ann, this is Fox Mulder, I'm sure I've mentioned him before. He was my, uh, my partner back in the Bureau. Fox, this is Dr. Ann Knight.  
  
Nice to meet you, Ann says, shaking my hand.  
  
You, too, I reply.  
  
You ready? Ann asks Dana.  
  
Dana nods and squeezes my hand. I can tell she's afraid, although her face remains calm. Ann leads us down to the morgue and uncovers a body.  
  
Oh, God... Dana says, turning away. She leans her body against my shoulder for support, and I put an arm around her waist. Her face now registers pain, and anger... and relief.   
  
We, uh, found this in his pocket, Ann says, handing Dana a folded piece of paper.   
  
Dana takes it and unfolds it. It's a note. She reads it for a moment, before crumpling it up and shoving it into her coat pocket. she whispers under her breath. Son of a bitch.  
  
He was very drunk. His blood-alcohol level was *way* over the legal limit. He ran his car into a tree at around five yesterday afternoon. He was dead when paramedics arrived.  
  
He deserved it, Dana says calmly, yet angrily. What do I need to take care of?  
  
Nothing, really, nothing that we can't contact his family about.  
  
Good. Fox, I want to go home.  
  
I nod. I'll see you later, Ann, Dana says, before turning around and walking out the door. I walk after her.  
  
Are you okay?   
  
No, I'm not, she says, stopping and turning toward me. That son of a bitch... She takes a step forward and I put my arms around her as she starts to cry.  
  
I hold her for a moment, and then she pulls away and says, Come on, let's go. She takes a step away from me, and then stops. She looks dizzy all of a sudden. Then she collapses.  
  
Oh my God... Dana? I say, dropping to my knees. I gently shake her shoulder.   
  
Ann and a nurse come rushing up. What happened? Ann asks.  
  
I don't know, she just collapsed! I reply.   
  
The nurse stands up to go get a stretcher, and takes Dana into the emergency room. Wait out here, she tells me. I'm sure she's just fine.  
  
I nod worriedly and sit down in the waiting room.  
  
~*~  
  
10:41 pm  
  
  
  
I open my eyes, and see Dana. I cry, jumping up. What happened? Are you okay?  
  
Yeah... I'm fine. She looks troubled all of a sudden.  
  
But what happened?  
  
Fox... I'm pregnant. Almost three months.  
  
I stare at her for a moment. Is that a bad thing? I ask her.   
  
I-I don't know.   
  
I stand up and give her a hug. It'll be all right, I tell her.   
  
She nods. Fox... let's go home.  
  
I take her hand and we walk out of the hospital together.  
  
~*~  
  
11:15 pm  
  
We get back to the house late. Mrs. Scully left a note saying that Lexie was spending the night at her house.   
  
Do you want some coffee or anything? Dana asks me, walking to the kitchen.  
  
No, thanks, I'm kind of tired anyway, I reply, sitting down on the couch.  
  
Okay. Go ahead and put on the TV or whatever, I'll be right back, Dana says, disappearing into the other room.   
  
I pick up the remote and turn the TV on. I stop on the news. Mostly boring stuff. Dana comes back into the living room a few minutes later, carrying a cup of coffee, just as a report on David's accident comes on. She glances at me and sits down next to me on the couch. --we haven't yet spoken to the family-- the reporter says, and I turn the TV off.  
  
Are you okay now?  
  
Only if you hold me, she whispers.  
  
I smile. I will, Dana.  
  
She stands up abruptly. Come on, she says, taking my hands and pulling me up. It's been a long day. Let's go to bed.  
  
I stand close to her and smile. She looks up at me and returns the smile, albeit joyless. Then she turns off the light in the living room and leads me upstairs to her bedroom.  
  
*****  
10:13 am  
  
I open my eyes to see sunlight streaming in through the window. Then I turn my head and see the one person that I have wanted to wake up next to for four years: Fox Mulder. I smile and move closer to him, and, still sleeping, he moves and puts his arms around me.  
  
I whisper.   
  
he says, opening his eyes. He smiles when he sees me. Good morning.  
  
I reply.   
  
He kisses me, and gently rubs my back. Know what, Dana?  
  
  
  
I love you.  
  
I smile. I love you too.  
  
Do you really?   
  
I pick my head up and stare at him for a moment. Wh-what do you mean, Fox? Of course I love you, I say, almost offended.  
  
He smiles again, and I put my head back down on his shoulder. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I listen to his heartbeat and smile.  
  
he says. There's something in his voice, I'm not sure what... doubt? Fear? Are you sure that you'll marry me? I mean, you have Lexie, are you sure that she wouldn't be confused or anything?  
  
Fox, I've wanted to be with you forever... I've wanted to marry you forever. I married David because... because by then, I was sure my dreams would never come true--  
  
They did before, he reminds me.  
  
And they have again. I move backwards, so that we're still touching, but so I can see his face. Fox, I don't want you to ever think that I'd have second thoughts... hell, even if you'd have come here before I left David... I would have wanted to rather be with you. I would have left him then. Because I was sure that if I saw you, I'd never be able to live without you. And that happened, too. God, Fox... I honestly don't know what I'd do without you now, to hold me, and to love me--  
  
I am interrupted by the ringing phone. Startled, I sit all the way up, and so does Fox. I pick up the phone.   
  
Hi, Mama! Lexie cries.  
  
Hi, Lexie. Did you have fun with Grandma? I ask.  
  
Yeah! An' I saw Aunt Tara and Uncle Bill.  
  
I say with a smile. Then my smile quickly falls. Bill still didn't know about Fox. And he and Fox had never gotten along back when we were partners. Um, can I talk to Grandma, sweetie?  
  
Yeah! Bye, Mama.  
  
Bye, Lexie. I wait for Mom to come onto the phone.  
  
What's the matter? Fox asks me, noticing the look on my face.  
  
I forgot about my br--  
  
Hi, Dana, Mom says.  
  
Hi, Mom. Was Lexie good for you last night?  
  
Of course she was, Mom tells me. Did she tell you Bill and Tara stopped by this morning?  
  
Yeah. You didn't tell them about... did you?  
  
About what?  
  
About me and Fox, I say, glancing at him. He has a completely confused expression on his face. I'll tell you in a minute, I mouth silently.  
  
No, I didn't. I didn't say anything at all, I figured you would want to.  
  
Thanks, Mom, I say sincerely. I'm, uh, not too sure how Bill will take the news.  
  
Well, it's not his life, Dana, Mom tells me, and I remember Missy saying something like that back when I joined the FBI. At the time, though, she was referring to Dad.  
  
I know.  
  
Bill and Tara said they'd be by in a little while. I'll have them bring Lexie with them.  
  
Oh, good. I'll tell them then. Well, look Mom, I gotta go, we're just waking up, actually.  
  
Oh, okay. Bye, Dana. Say hello to Fox for me.  
  
I will. Bye, Mom, I say. I hang up the phone.   
  
What was that all about? Fox asks me.  
  
I forgot that Bill and Tara were in town this week, visiting, I tell him. He gets a funny look on his face. They might come by later on.  
  
He nods. What do you think your brother will say?  
  
I'm quiet for a moment. Then I say, It doesn't matter. Whatever he says won't change anything. I love you, Fox, and nothing can change that.  
  
I love you too, he says, gently brushing my cheek with his fingers. I'm just... well, you know I've never gotten along with Bill.  
  
I know. I'll talk to him, okay?  
  
All right. Smiling, he says, Geez, it's almost eleven. We should probably get up.  
  
At that exact moment, we hear a knock on the door.  
  
~*~  
  
We quickly get dressed, and Fox goes into the kitchen to make coffee while I answer the door. Sure enough, it's Bill and Tara, and their son, Matthew, who is now almost   
five.  
  
I say, opening the door. Come on in.   
  
Lexie runs in and hugs my legs, almost causing me to fall down. Hi, sweetie, I say, picking her up. Did you have fun?  
  
she cries.   
  
That's good. Why don't you go in the other room with your cousin Matt, okay?  
  
Okay, Mommy! I set her down and the two kids run into the other room.  
  
Both Tara and Bill give me a hug. Where's David? Tara asks.  
  
He, uh, was in a car accident the other day. He didn't make it, I say.  
  
Oh, Dana, I'm so sorry! Tara cries.  
  
I'm fine. It's okay.  
  
Why didn't Mom say anything? Bill asks me.  
  
I didn't want her to. David and I... we were seperating anyway, I explain. Bill nods.  
  
Fox comes into the living room and hands me a cup of coffee. Bill looks at him strangely for a second, then he looks at me, asking the inevitable question with his eyes. He takes my arm and pulls me into the hallway. What the hell is he doing here? he asks me.  
  
Jesus, Bill, you act like he's not allowed to be here or something. It's my house, I remind him.  
  
Dana, your husband *died* the other day. Now you already have some other man here? And *Fox Mulder,* of all people! Bill hisses at me.  
  
David didn't love me. David didn't love Lexie. He's gone, and what, am I supposed to cry? Well, I did cry, Bill. And Fox was here to comfort me.  
  
Comfort you? Just how did he comfort you?  
  
I purse my lips. That is *not* your business, I reply calmly, yet coldly.  
  
My God, Dana.  
  
Shut up, Bill, just shut up. I don't care if you hate him, but I love him, and I'm marrying him. So please, just don't do this.  
  
You-you're what?! Bill stutters. He shakes his head. I really can't believe you, Dana.  
  
Well I can't believe you, either, I say, walking out of the hallway and back into the living room where Fox and Tara were talking. I smile, as if our talk never even happened. Bill scowls and sits on the couch next to his wife.   
  
I walk over to the other couch and sit down by Fox. Did you tell Bill? He looks quite pissed, he whispers into my ear.  
  
I reply. He takes my hand.  
  
Tara looks at us suspiciously, and then glances at Bill, who's now staring at Fox with an almost evil expression on his face. Tara lightly hits him on the arm. she whispers loudly. Then she turns back to us. Is something... going on between you two? she asks.  
  
I smile. Yes, actually, there is. I look up at Fox, and he smiles back at me. Fox and I are getting married.  
  
You are? Oh, Dana, how wonderful! Tara cries, standing up to give me another hug. Then she hugs Fox. She sits back down on the couch next to Bill. She's smiling, and she looks almost funny sitting next to Bill, who still looks really angry. Excuse me, she says, taking Bill into the kitchen, presumably to talk to him about Fox and me.  
  
Well, obviously he's upset, Fox says.   
  
Yeah. But I'm not. I'm so happy, Fox. It felt good just to say those words: We're getting married.'  
  
Yes, we are, Fox says, leaning down to kiss me.   
  
Bill and Tara come back into the room just as our lips touch. We pull apart and smile at each other. Then he takes my hand again.  
  
I think it would be best if we got going, Tara says, a note of apology in her voice. We just wanted to say hi. Congratulations, you two, she says.   
  
We'll see you later, I say. Thanks for coming by.  
  
Tara smiles, and they go and get Matt from the other room. As soon as their gone, Fox leans down to kiss me again. This time, no one comes into the room to interrupt us.   
  
*****  
The Next Morning  
May 1st  
9:31 am  
  
  
  
  
  
We are asleep together on the couch in the living room. We must have fallen asleep watching TV, because the TV is still on, but it has to be morning by now. Luckily, Dana doesn't have to work today, so it doesn't matter what time she actually wakes up.  
  
I... I don't want to get up, I admit.  
  
So don't, she says. I can hear the smile in her voice, even though her face is turned away.  
  
But... I have to go back to my apartment.  
  
Dana sits up. she asks. The smile in her voice is gone.  
  
Yeah. I have stuff to take care of. I smile a little at her. You know, I gotta feed my fish every once in a while.  
  
She turns and puts her arms around my neck. But you *will* be back, won't you?  
  
Of course. I promised you that.  
  
A few days earlier, when she came to see me, I'd told her that I wanted to come to live with her, and she told me that she wanted that too. And now we were getting married... God, the past few days couldn't have been better.  
  
Fox... I'm coming with you.  
  
I say. But, you have to work, and Lexie...  
  
I'll take a few days off. Please? She pauses, looking at me critically. Do you not *want* me to come?  
  
No, no, it's not that. I was just surprised. I kiss her. Of course I want you to come with me. I never want to let her out of my sight again. I guess I'm afraid... that she won't come back, just like last time.  
  
  
  
I kiss her again. Mmm... have I ever told you how much I love you?  
  
she answers with a grin. You just did the other night.  
  
Oh, yeah... I say, returning the grin. I go to kiss her again, but we're interrupted. *Figures,* I think with a smile.   
  
  
  
Dana whispers, sitting up. Lexie is standing at the top of the stairs. She comes downstairs and over to the couch. Good morning, Dana says to her, moving over to let Lexie sit on the couch.  
  
Morning, Mama.  
  
I look at the three of us, sitting on the couch. My God... we look like a family. That was the first time I'd ever experienced that. And in just a few months, we *would* be a real family. I stared down at Dana's hand, at the ring I'd bought for her, the ring I never expected to actually *give* to her... But now it was all happening. We were getting married, and soon I would have a beautiful wife and a two-year-old daughter that I'd never thought I'd have. And in a few months, another baby was on the way.   
  
Dana said. We should get packed up, I guess.  
  
Where we going, Mama? Lexie asks.   
  
We're going to Fox's house for a few days, Dana tells her.  
  
  
  
Because... he has to pack up his apartment to come live with us.  
  
He gonna live here? Lexie says, looking at me.  
  
I nodded, and Dana says, Yeah, sweetie, remember? He's going to be your daddy. She looks at me and smiles.  
  
Lexie says.   
  
We all go upstairs to get dressed and packed up. Then, when we're all ready to leave, we get in my car and start driving back to Washington.  
  
~*~  
  
That Night  
  
Here we are, I say softly to Dana. Home sweet home. I park the car and we go upstairs to my apartment. Dana carries Lexie, who is sound asleep.  
  
I unlock the door and let Dana go in first. She smiles. Then she sets her sleeping daughter in the chair that she'd slept in last time she was here.  
  
I wish I had a better, more comfortable place for Lexie to sleep. But I've never had a child in the apartment. *Ever.* In fact, the most people that have ever slept in my apartment is two... Dana and me. And that was only twice, since we'd been together: once before The Argument, and the other night when she came back to me.  
  
Lexie wakes up for a moment. Shh... sweetie, go back to sleep. She closes her eyes again and quickly goes back to sleep. Come on, I'm exhausted, she says, pulling on my arm. We go back out into the living room and sit down on the couch. I can't believe you're still sleeping on the couch, she says with a tired smile.  
  
Yeah, well. Sorry.  
  
It's not a problem. It just means I get to sleep closer to you. She sighs. I'm so happy I came along, she says, at the same moment as I say:   
  
I'm so happy you came along. We laugh. I really love you, I say.  
  
I love you too. She puts her arms around me and her head on my shoulder.   
  
I'll have to go to the FBI tomorrow to... tell Skinner that I'm leaving.  
  
She pauses. God, what do you think he'll say?  
  
I don't know. I didn't think of that.  
  
I'm sure it'll be fine. Don't worry.  
  
I know. It's not like there's anything he can do about it. I'm marrying you, Dana, and he can't stop that, I say determinedly. I mean, it's not like he can seperate us, or transfer us, we're not partners anymore.  
  
Dana doesn't answer. Fox... you know why I wanted to come here with you?  
  
  
  
Because... I was still afraid that you wouldn't come back.  
  
Oh, Dana... You don't have to worry about that. Ever. Because I never *want* to leave you. I want to be with you forever... because I love you.  
  
I know.  
  
Actually, one of the reasons I didn't ask you to come in the first place... is that I was afraid you wouldn't want to come, that you wouldn't want me to come back.  
  
Dana laughs. Well, Fox, I don't know about you, but... I don't think I could ever spend another day--or night--without you.  
  
Same for me.  
  
Well then. I guess it's decided.   
  
What's decided?  
  
I don't have any idea, Dana says, laughing. Then she looks into my eyes. It's decided... that I'm never, ever letting you out of my sight, Fox Mulder.  
  
That's a hard offer to turn down.  
  
So... it's unanimous?  
  
  
  
Okay then. She takes my hands. We lie down on the couch, and I kiss her.  
  
I love you.  
  
I love you too.  
  
Good night, Dana.  
  
You too.  
  
~*~  
  
The ringing of the phone wakes me up. I sit up quickly and glance at the clock. It's 8:30. I forgot to set the damn alarm.  
  
Dana asks sleepily.  
  
I'm supposed to be at work! I cry.   
  
Shh... calm down. It's not like... you're...  
  
I know, I know. I answer the phone before whoever it is hangs up.   
  
Agent Mulder. It's Skinner.  
  
Uh, hello, sir, I say, glancing at Dana. I nod, letting her know who it is.  
  
Agent Mulder, you were supposed to be in here for a meeting an hour ago. What's keeping you?  
  
How the hell am I supposed to answer him?   
  
*I have company over?*   
  
*I was too busy sleeping with my former partner?*   
  
Or maybe just, *I quit.*  
  
I say again. I-I guess I just forgot to set my alarm. Not a lie... I was just too busy doing... other things.  
  
Well, Mulder, you'd better get your ass over here pretty quickly, Skinner says.  
  
Yes sir. Uh... Yes sir.  
  
I hang up the phone. Skinner's pissed. I was supposed to be there for a meeting by 7:30.  
  
Well then, you'd better get going.   
  
I look down at myself. I'm still dressed in what I wore yesterday, which is good enough for a meeting that I'm not even going to work to attend. I was going to go over there, give Skinner my letter of resignation, and hopefully, not have to explain myself.   
  
After quickly typing up my resignation letter, I give Dana a quick kiss and say, I'll be back soon. Then I go downstairs and get in my car and drive as fast as I can to work.  
  
~*~  
  
Later...  
  
I go into Skinner's office. His secretary lets me in.   
  
Skinner asks, probably wondering why I'm dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt.  
  
I, uh... I hand him the letter. I'm sorry, sir.  
  
What's the meaning of this, Mulder? Why are you resigning? He points to a chair. Sit down.   
  
*Damn. I really didn't want to explain it.*  
  
He notices the look I have on my face. Off the record, Mulder.  
  
I nod. I, uh... the time I took off... I went to Ohio. I-I found Dana. Uh, *Scully,* I correct myself.  
  
You did?  
  
Yeah. And... we talked for a while... I don't know how I'm going to get to this. So I decide to make it short, sweet, and to the point. Sir, we're getting married.  
  
Oh. Uh, well, congratulations, Skinner says.  
  
Thank you. But I'm going to have to move to Ohio to be with her. She has a daughter, and a new life there... and she can't leave it behind now.  
  
Skinner nods. Well, I can't stop you from leaving. I guess all I *can* do is congratulate you, and tell you... well, even when Scully was here, I expected it. Everyone did.  
  
Expected what, sir?  
  
That you two were made for each other. That someday... this would happen.  
  
I can feel my cheeks turning red. I nod, but don't say anything.  
  
Take care of her, Mulder.  
  
I will, sir. Thank you. I stand up and shake his hand.  
  
Good luck, Skinner says as I exit the office.  
  
~*~  
  
I go downstairs to my own office and start packing stuff up. I'm sure it'll take me more than a day to clean it up... although I have been keeping it cleaner since Dana left. I don't know why... maybe because she was a neat freak, and always complained about how messy the office was, and I felt that I should keep it clean, even if she'd never see it.  
  
Suddenly, there's a knock on the door. I say.  
  
Dana says, poking her head in.  
  
How'd you get in here? I ask her.  
  
Visitor's pass. She waved the small tag at me. Plus, being a former FBI agent made it easier for me to get down here. She walks into the office with Lexie close by her side. Wow, Fox... it's not... messy! she exclaims, looking around.  
  
I smile. You would have been proud of me, Dana. I've kept it like this for four years.  
  
Dana says, disbelieving.  
  
I nod. Believe it or not.  
  
Geez... I came here thinking you'd need *help* cleaning your pigsty of an office... but maybe I was wrong. Dana walks over to my desk and sits Lexie down in the chair. Then something on the desk catches her eye. She picks up a brightly colored photo album that's sitting there. I'd been looking through it the day that I decided to go see her.  
  
What's this? she asks.  
  
Oh, uh... just some pictures I've put together.  
  
Dana chuckles. The album is covered in a multi-colored fabric with aliens all over it. I grin back at her. It's cute, she says. Then she opens it. Turning a few pages, she says, Oh, Fox...  
  
Inside the photo album is every picture I could find of Dana, or of the two of us together. There's not very many, but enough to put in the book.  
  
She looks up into my eyes. Fox, this is the sweetest thing I've ever seen, she says quietly.  
  
I smile at her. I needed something to remind me of you, I tell her.   
  
She smiles and places it in a box. Well, I guess I'll still help you clean this place up. Maybe we can get out of here sooner.  
  
  
  
Together, we pack up everything into boxes. We work all day, taking a few breaks for lunch and dinner and just to sit down for a little bit. Lexie was obviously very bored, so we had to go back to my apartment for a while so she could watch half of her favorite movie, A Bug's Life, *again.* We'd watched it so many times with her in the couple of days that I'd been at their house, I was beginning to be able to recite every line.  
  
We finish cleaning out the office at around eleven. Lexie is asleep in the desk chair. I cross my arms and look at my office... not my office anymore. It was empty. I could see a faded outline on the wall where my I Want to Believe poster had been.  
  
Dana comes into the office after a quick run to the coffee machine. She handed me a cup. I take a sip and set it down on the desk. I take Dana's hand and lead her over near the door. Dana... this... *right here,* is where the best thing in my life ever happened to me.  
  
What's that? she asks, putting her arms around me.  
  
I was sitting right here when I first saw you. When I met you.  
  
Right here? she asks.  
  
I nod. We sit down on the floor in that spot, and I pull her close to me. This is where I fell in love with you, Dana, I tell her softly. You know that?  
  
This is the place where *I* fell in love with *you.* She smiles and leans across me. I put my arm around her back and hold her there in my lap. I bend down and kiss her gently. Let's go back to your apartment, she whispers a minute or two later, a smile playing at the corners of her lips.  
  
I whisper, smiling back. We stand up. Dana picks the sleeping Lexie up and carries her out of the office.  
  
~*~  
  
The next morning, I wake up before Dana does. I consider waking her up for a moment, but then I decide against it. We'd been up later than we'd expected to be, and I knew she was tired. Plus, she looks really beautiful when she sleeps.  
  
I try to sit up, but realize it's going to be hard to do without waking her. Her arms are around my waist, and my back is against the back of the couch. I'm stuck. Shit. But carefully, I manage to remove her arms from me, and I gingerly get off the couch and stand up. Dana sighs, still sleeping. She rolls over, aware that she has more room on the couch now.  
  
I go into the kitchen and start some coffee. As it brews, I remember that we'd moved the chair into the other room for Lexie to sleep on. I poke my head into the other room to check on her. As soon as I open the door, her eyes open and she sits up. Where's Mama?  
  
She's still asleep, I tell her.  
  
Oh. I'm hungry, Lexie says.  
  
You want to go into the kitchen and see what we can get you? I ask her.  
  
  
  
She stands up and walks out into the kitchen with me. I look in the cupboard, hoping to find some cereal. I pull out a box of Cheerios that has a fine layer of dust over it. I check the date on it. April 1995. Whoa. I stick it back into the cupboard, and then change my mind and just throw it out. We'd be cleaning the apartment out later anyway, I thought. I open the fridge and see what I've got. A carton of milk, some orange juice, some maple syrup, a few eggs, some beer, and some butter. Great. No actual *food,* besides the eggs.  
  
I sigh and look at Lexie, who is sitting quietly at the table, swinging her legs back and forth. Last time I was here, I was a single guy. The fridge *never* had anything in it. I don't even know last time it had more food in it. Actually, come to think of it, I can't even remember last time I ate a whole meal at home.  
  
Then I remember something. I check the cupboard again. This time I pull out a box of pancake mix. And luckily, it's not very old at all. Do you like pancakes? I ask Lexie. She nods, smiling.   
  
I haven't made pancakes in way too long. I followed the recipe on the side of the box. And actually, they didn't turn out too bad. They even looked edible. A good sign. I put some pancakes on a plate and gave them to Lexie.   
  
she asks.   
  
I stare at her for a second, wondering what she means. I haven't been around a kid in way too long. I totally forgot that she was only two and couldn't do it herself. I cut the pancakes up for her and put some syrup on them.   
  
Thank you, she says politely.   
  
I smile. You're welcome.  
  
Morning, Daddy, someone says.  
  
I turn around. Dana is standing in the doorway. I smile at her. Good morning, I reply.   
  
Yeah, something smells good. She takes a few steps into the kitchen and kisses Lexie on the top of her head. Morning, sweetheart. She looks back up at me. You cooked?  
  
You sound surprised.  
  
Well, I expected maybe you cooked frozen waffles or something... I mean, you're a single guy--you *were* a single guy, she corrects herself, smiling, --you probably don't even remember last time you ate at home.   
  
I smile. Isn't that what I just thought?   
  
I didn't expect that you still *remembered* how to cook, Fox, she continues.  
  
Yeah, yeah. Sit down. I, I say, setting down a plate of pancakes in front of her with a flourish, happen to be a pancake *expert.*  
  
Oh, an expert, huh? she asks. Well, we'll see about that.  
  
He *is* a expert, Mama! Lexie says, causing both of us to laugh. They're really yummy.  
  
See? A witness, I say to Dana.   
  
She rolls her eyes at me and takes a bite.   
  
  
  
For a being a single guy for the past four years--and I'm sure you haven't made pancakes *once* in that time--you aren't such a bad cook.  
  
Told you, Lexie and I both say at the same time. I stick out my tongue at her for effect. Then I grin and get a plate for myself.   
  
I look at the three of us again, and again I think that we look like a family. I smile. It's a really good feeling. I'm not sure what it is... but I do know I've never felt it before. Well... at least not toward my dad. He never... felt like family. Mom and Samantha--well really just Mom, because Samantha was gone when she was eight--were what I guessed was family. But with Mom and Dad's divorce, it still felt... different. But this was the real kind of family I'd wanted all my life. A happy family.   
  
And there's one ingredient to a happy family that was always missing when I was younger.   
  
Love.  
  
~*~  
  
May 5th  
  
It takes the next few days, but we finally clean out and pack up my apartment. We'd thrown out so much stuff--junk, really--that I never even knew I had.  
  
I say, standing in the front doorway. I cross my arms.   
  
Dana walks over and stands next to me. Well, what?  
  
I don't know, I say, putting my arm around her.  
  
So how soon are we going to go home? she asks.  
  
I tell her.  
  
Good. I can tell Lexie's ready to go home.  
  
So can I. God, Dana... look at this. I... you...  
  
I know. I can't believe it either. I'm happy. Are you?  
  
I couldn't be happier, I tell her, bending to kiss her. Look at me. I'm turning into...  
  
A family guy? she jokes.  
  
Yeah. Something like that. I mean, think about this: less than a week ago, I was a single, workaholic, depressed, lonely guy, whose only joys in life were trying to reopen the X-Files, and missing the woman that he loved and thought he'd never see again. And that wasn't even a joy, that only made me more lonely and depressed.   
  
And then... a few days later, I decided to take a chance, and at least try to bring some kind of happiness to my life. And I did. I found you. She smiles up at me. Now I'm Mr. Happy. I have a beautiful wife-to-be, who just happens to be that woman that I loved in part one, and a beautiful daughter-to-be, who just happens to be so much like her mother that it's almost scary.  
  
Yeah, well. A few days ago, I was a lonely, workaholic, not-single-but-should-have-been mom, whose husband hated her, and whose only joys in life were her daughter, and missing the man that she loved and thought she'd never see again. And *that* wasn't very... joyous. It just made me even more lonely.   
  
And then... a few days later, I came back to you. And now *I* am happy. I have a wonderful husband-to-be, who I love so much, and who loves me and my daughter... I smile back at her. Well, Fox, maybe you should just change your last name to Happy, so when we get married we'll be the Happy family.  
  
Dana Happy... I try it out. I think Dana Mulder sounds better.  
  
Sounds better than Dana Hayes, too, she whispers.  
  
Hey. I don't want you to say that. You realize that if you never married him, you wouldn't have Lexie?  
  
I know. I'm just... sad that I left you, and that I never apologized for leaving. I'm sorry, Fox. For four years without you, and for trying to give an equal amount of love to another man... when my heart still belonged to you.  
  
Dana... you married David because you loved him. At least, you did when you married him. Don't say things like that... I know you're sorry... but, like I said before, don't regret marrying him. I know your marriage to him didn't go well... But it doesn't mean I love you any less. And it doesn't mean you don't love me. Now, or then, or anytime in between. You're one of the lucky ones, Dana... you were able to love someone twice in your life... some people never know love. I didn't, till I met you.  
  
Oh, God, Fox... why didn't you say something like that before I left? I would have never left you.  
  
Fate, Dana. Or whatever. Maybe... you were meant to love David. I was meant to love you, and...  
  
I was meant to love you, too, she finishes for me.  
  
Right. And like you said, we can't let our pasts get in the way of the present or the future. And I don't want it to. So let's just put that behind us--all of it, all those four years--and get on with life, now. Together.  
  
Dana smiles. So... now. Now we have to think about getting you moved out of here by tomorrow.  
  
I repeat. Tomorrow, I'd be out of here, out of the apartment that I'd lived in for so long, and I'd be living with the one person that I'd wanted to live with since... well, since a long time ago. And finally, the one thing I'd always wanted to make possible, suddenly *is.* And I smile.  
  
~*~  
  
Fox! Wake up!   
  
I sit up on the couch.   
  
It's eight-thirty! Dana cries.  
  
Eight-thirty, eight-thirty... what the hell was eight-thirty?  
  
They're going to be here in a half hour! Dana reminds me, answering the unasked question by seeing the completely blank look on my face.  
  
I cry, jumping up. I'd completely forgotten that a few people were coming over to help us move my stuff into the truck. And after that, we were going to leave, hopefully making it all the way to Dana's house before night.  
  
Is Lexie up already? I ask.  
  
Nope. She's still asleep. That's the next thing on my list, before breakfast, a shower, and getting dressed.  
  
I nod. I'll go find food, I say.  
  
she replies, going into the back room to wake up Lexie.  
  
I quickly change my clothes and throw on my shoes and jacket and run downstairs to my car. I drive to a bagel shop nearby and get a few bagels and some coffee. Then I go back to the apartment.   
  
Dana comes out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. she says.   
  
I give her a quick kiss and hand her a cup of coffee. I got bagels too, I tell her.  
  
Oh, good. She gives a bagel to Lexie and then goes into the other room to change.  
  
We going home now? Lexie asks me.  
  
I reply.  
  
Good. I wanna go home, she says.  
  
So do I, I say with a smile.  
  
But I thought this was your house?  
  
Well, it is. But not anymore. I'm coming to live with you and your mom.  
  
You *are?* Lexie asks.  
  
Yeah. Remember? I'm going to be your Daddy now.  
  
Oh, yeah. Lexie pauses for a minute. So I get to call you Daddy now?  
  
I grin. I'd hardly realized that. Dana and I had talked about me adopting Lexie when we got married--which I was doing--but I'd never really thought about being a father. A daddy.   
  
There was a knock at the door. They're here, Dana calls from the next room. She opens the door to let them in.  
  
Slowly, the boxes and furniture are removed from the apartment, until everything is gone. Then I turn in my key to the landlord, and I get in the truck, Scully and Lexie get in the car, and we leave.  
  
~*~  
  
10:00 pm  
  
My cell phone rings. I say, answering it, knowing that it would only be Dana at this time.  
  
We're not going to get there tonight. Lexie's getting cranky, and I'm ready to stop for the night, Dana says.  
  
You're right. I'm tired too. I look at a sign that says there's still another 250 miles to the state border, and after that, there'd be at least another hour until we got to Dana's. Get off at the next exit. We can find someplace to stay then.  
  
She yawns. See you soon.  
  
I love you, I tell her.  
  
I love you too, she replies before hanging up the phone.  
  
I turn up the radio to make sure that I don't fall asleep. The song The Best Thing' by Savage Garden is playing. I smile and listen to the words.  
  
Never want to fly  
Never want to leave  
Never want to say what you mean to me  
Never want to run  
Frightened to believe  
You're the best thing about me  
You're the best thing about me  
  
Sometimes I feel like this is only chemistry  
Stuck in a maze searching for a way to  
Shut down turn around feel the ground beneath me  
You're so close where do you end where do I begin?  
Always pushing and pulling  
Sometimes sanity takes vacation time on me  
I'm in a daze stumbling bewildered  
North of gravity head up in the stratosphere  
You and I roller coaster riding love  
You're the center of adrenaline  
And I'm beginning to understand  
  
Never want to fly  
Never want to leave  
Never want to say what you mean to me  
Never want to run  
Frightened to believe  
You're the best thing about me  
  
Walk on broken glass make my way through fire  
These are things I would do for love  
Farewell piece of mind kiss goodbye to reason  
Up is down the impossible occurs each day  
This intoxication thrills me  
I only pray it doesn't kill me  
  
Never want to fly  
Never want to leave  
Never want to say what you mean to me  
Never want to run  
Frightened to believe  
You're the best thing about me  
  
You're the center of adrenaline  
And I'm beginning to understand  
You could be the best thing about me  
  
Never want to fly  
Never want to leave  
Never want to say what you mean to me  
Never want to run  
Frightened to believe  
You're the best thing about me  
  
You could be the best thing about me  
What if you're the best thing about me?  
  
What if you're the best thing about me, Dana? I mumble to myself. I grin. That's a pretty damn good best thing about myself to have.  
  
I get off at the exit, and I turn into the parking lot of first hotel I see. I go into the office and get a room for the night. Dana arrives a few minutes later. She parks and gets out of her car. I walk over to her and give her a hug and a kiss. What was that for? she asks me with a smile.  
  
To tell you that you are the best thing about me, I tell her.   
  
You heard the song too? she asks.  
  
I pause. Thank you, Dana, I whisper.  
  
For what?  
  
For coming back. For coming to find me.  
  
Thank you for letting me. For not making me leave.  
  
Don't thank me. I'd been waiting for you to come for four years.  
  
Well, don't thank me for coming. I'd been trying to gather the courage to come for four years.  
  
Well... I'm glad you did. Only...  
  
Only what? she replies, sounding worried. About what, I don't know. Maybe that she was afraid that I was having second thoughts.  
  
Only I wish you'd have come sooner, I say with a smile.   
  
She smiles back, and I kiss her. I do too, she whispers, leaning her forehead against mine. Now come on, let's get some sleep.  
  
~*~  
  
  



	7. Savage Garden Chapter Seven: Hold Me

sg7

!--This file created by ClarisWorks HTML Filter 2.0--  
HTML  
HEAD  
META NAME=GENERATOR CONTENT="ClarisWorks HTML Filter 2.0"  
TITLEsg7/TITLE  
/HEAD  
BODY   
  
PTITLE: Savage Garden Chapter Seven: Hold Me BR  
AUTHOR: Gaia LessBR  
RATING: PG13BR  
SPOILERS: Pilot, Emily... a few flashbacks from actual scenes. Everything else through the beginning of season seven, I guess. BR  
BR  
SUMMARY: Mulder and Scully are (still) on their way home.  
BR  
DISCLAIMER: I dont own Mulder, Scully, or anyone else you might recognize from the series. They are owned by Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox. I dont own them. No copyright infringement is intended. I didn;t create em, Im just playing with them. Ill give them back when Im done. Promise!! Please dont sue me... BR  
BR  
All songs belong to Savage Garden.. yeah.. they rock. Also just borrowing them, blah blah blah....BR  
BR  
Archive anywhere, but please get my permission first :) tis as easy as emailing me and saying, Yo, Gaia, I wanna put your fanfic, [title here], on my site, okay? You can even simply cut and paste that sentence into an email document! I will reply with something along the lines of Hey, thats cool. Promote me! Yeah! Sweeeeet. See? Tis VERY easy :) Wowwww. HeheBR  
BR  
notes and such at the endBR  
BR  
BR  
BR  
BR  
Chapter SevenBR  
Hold MeBR  
by GLBR  
BR  
==========BR  
Four Years AgoBR  
BR  
There was a knock at the door, and he came into my apartment. BR  
BR  
What are you doing here? I asked softly. BR  
BR  
I came to, uh, say goodbye, I guess.BR  
BR  
*Please, please, just go away, let me leave, dont try to stop me...* I pleaded silently. BR  
BR  
Are you sure you want to leave? he asked.BR  
BR  
Yes. I am.BR  
BR  
Scully, please... we can work this out.BR  
BR  
No, Mulder. We cant. I cant stay here anymore, not like this. Im sorry.BR  
BR  
But why? he asked. How can you just... leave?BR  
BR  
I just can. I picked up my bag. I turned away from him, not able to look at him anymore. I couldnt let him see my tears. Not now. If I cried, I was sure Id never be able to leave.BR  
BR  
I didnt *want* to leave. I loved him so much... I didnt want to leave him behind. But I couldnt stay, knowing every day that this would be between us. The Argument had hurt us, hurt us more deeply than I could take. I was so in love with him, and I wanted to be with him so badly... and to know that I couldnt was just... too horrible.BR  
BR  
Scully... I-I love you. Please... dont leave me.BR  
BR  
I love you too, I whispered. And thats why I have to go.BR  
BR  
But... I dont understand.BR  
BR  
Neither do I. We just have to accept it. I finally turned to look at him. ll miss you. God, Ill miss you so much. But... I want you to move on. *I* want to move on. Start over. Please... Fox... cant you try to understand?BR  
BR  
He nodded, ever so slowly. But Ill never, ever forget you, he told me.BR  
BR  
I know. I wont either. I took a step forward and kissed his forehead, afraid that if my lips found his that Id never be able to leave him, never be able to let go, never be able to walk out of the door and out of this life. Maybe... well meet again someday.BR  
BR  
I walked past him and out of the apartment. Behind me, I heard him say, ll be looking for you, Dana. Always.BR  
BR  
Only once I was in the safety and privacy of the elevator, away from him forever, did I let the tears fall.BR  
BR  
~*~BR  
BR  
May 6th, 2003BR  
3:21 amBR  
BR  
I sit bolt upright in bed. Oh my God... I breathe.BR  
BR  
What is it? Fox asks. He sits up next to me in bed and puts an arm around my shoulder. Are you okay?BR  
BR  
Yeah, I-Im fine. Bad dream.BR  
BR  
What was it about?BR  
BR  
That day... the day that I left, I tell him.BR  
BR  
Oh, Dana... he says, holding me close. You dont have to worry about that. Im here... nothing is ever going to take you away from me again. Ever.BR  
BR  
I know. I... I dreamed about the day I left so many times. I hated myself for leaving you that day. And... its never left me.BR  
BR  
He starts to say something, but I stop him. Just... just hold me, Fox. Just hold me.BR  
BR  
~*~BR  
BR  
HeyBR  
If we cant find a way out of these problemsBR  
Then maybe we dont need thisBR  
Standing face to faceBR  
Enemies at war we build defensesBR  
And secret hiding placesBR  
BR  
I might need you to hold me tonightBR  
I might need you to say its all rightBR  
I might need you to make the first standBR  
Cause tonight Im finding it hard to be your manBR  
BR  
HeyBR  
More than angry words I hate this silenceBR  
Its getting so loudBR  
Well I want to screamBR  
But bitterness has silenced these emotionsBR  
Its getting hard to breatheBR  
So tell me isnt happinessBR  
Worth more than a gold diamond ring?BR  
Im willing to do anythingBR  
To calm the storm in my heartBR  
Ive never been the praying kindBR  
But lately Ive been down upon my kneesBR  
Not looking for a miracleBR  
Just a reason to believeBR  
BR  
I might need you to hold me tonightBR  
I might need you to say its all rightBR  
I might need you to make the first standBR  
Cause tonight Im finding it hard to be your manBR  
BR  
Do you remember not long ago?BR  
When we used to live for the nighttimeBR  
Cherish each momentBR  
Now we dont live we existBR  
We just run through our livesBR  
So aloneBR  
Thats why youve gotta hold meBR  
BR  
HeyBR  
If we cant find a way out of these problemsBR  
Then maybe we dont need thisBR  
Standing face to faceBR  
Enemies at war we build defensesBR  
And secret hiding placesBR  
BR  
I might need you to hold me tonightBR  
I might need you to say its all rightBR  
I might need you to make the first standBR  
Cause tonight Im finding it hard to be your manBR  
BR  
~*~BR  
BR  
I wake up the next morning in Foxs arms. Good morning, he says when I open my eyes.BR  
BR  
I gaze up at him for a moment. How long have you been awake?BR  
BR  
Not too long.BR  
BR  
Why didnt you wake me?BR  
BR  
Because you look so beautiful when you sleep.BR  
BR  
I smile. Then I ask, What time is it, anyway?BR  
BR  
Uh... about nine, he replies.BR  
BR  
I sit up slowly. I rub my eyes, and remember the dream. I whisper. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to forget. I put one hand over my mouth and stare into the mirror on the wall in front of me.BR  
BR  
Fox sits up behind me and links his arms around my waist. What is it?BR  
BR  
Just... the dream. BR  
BR  
Dana... just dont even think about it anymore. Lets just... pretend that its still 1999, when you left... *before* you left. It never happened.BR  
BR  
But what about Lexie, then?BR  
BR  
Fox pauses. I dont know... I was just being hypothetical, Dana.BR  
BR  
I know. I smile. Speaking of Lexie, Id better get her up.BR  
BR  
I stand and walk over to the other bed, where Lexie is still sound asleep. I say quietly, pulling down the blankets a little bit. BR  
BR  
Lexie rolls over, still half-asleep. she says.BR  
BR  
Come on, Lexie, time to get up. Were going home today.BR  
BR  
Lexie rolls over again and looks up at me. BR  
BR  
Yup. Come on now, get up.BR  
BR  
She shakes her head. I reach down and pick her up, and she holds onto my neck and tries to go back to sleep.BR  
BR  
Oh, no you don I say. When I get no response, I sigh. Then I turn toward the other bed and give her to Fox. I have to take a shower, I tell him. ll be right out.BR  
BR  
*****BR  
Oh, no. What do I do now?BR  
BR  
I hold Lexie in my arms, not sure what to do. Shes still asleep, or at least pretending to sleep. I suppose I should try and wake her up. Come on, Lexie. You gotta get up now, I say gently.BR  
BR  
she insists. Wanna sleep.BR  
BR  
Well... dont you want to go home today?BR  
BR  
She opens her eyes just a little bit. BR  
BR  
Well if you dont get up then I guess... you wont get to go home.BR  
BR  
But I *wanna!* Her lower lip trembles as she looks up at me.BR  
BR  
Well then you have to get up, I tell her. Come on. Lexie opens her eyes and yawns. We should get you dressed.BR  
BR  
She climbs out of my lap and walks over to her bag. She unzips it and starts going through all of the clothes that Dana brought for her. BR  
BR  
I finish helping her get dressed just as Dana comes out of the bathroom. BR  
BR  
*****BR  
Fox is sitting on the bed, helping Lexie get dressed. Wow, you actually got her up? I ask.BR  
BR  
He grins. See? I told you I could be a good dad, he jokes.BR  
BR  
Well Im proud of you, I say, kissing the top of his head. He smiles up at me before putting an arm around me and kissing me again. Geez, half the time she wont even let *me* get her up in the morning! I exclaim.BR  
BR  
Well, that just shows... well Im not sure what it shows... but it shows *something,* Fox says.BR  
BR  
I laugh. Then I ask, Lexie, how come you wouldnt get up for me, but you will for Fox?BR  
BR  
She thinks for a minute. Cause Daddy said I hadda get up so we could go home. An I wanna go home.BR  
BR  
I smile at her, then I look over at Fox, who is also smiling. This is the first time shes ever referred to him as I can tell he is getting used to that, and that he probably likes it. BR  
BR  
Well, *Daddy,* I say, sitting down on the bed next to him. d* better get ready for the day, too.BR  
BR  
Okay, *Mama.* He smiles at me, and starts to kiss me, but is interrupted by Lexie.BR  
BR  
Can we go home now?BR  
BR  
We turn to look at her. Shes standing on the other side of the bed with her hands on her hips. Of course we can. I look back at Fox and smile. s go home.BR  
BR  
~*~BR  
BR  
12:15 pmBR  
BR  
I pull my van into the driveway and Fox parks the truck in front. I get out of the van and get Lexie out of the back seat. She immediately runs up to the house, and I walk down the driveway to meet Fox. Home sweet home, I say with a smile.BR  
BR  
m so happy, Dana, he says, giving me a hug.BR  
BR  
So am I, I whisper back. m glad were doing this.BR  
BR  
I am too. He lets go of me and says, Come on. Lets go inside. He takes my hand and we go into the house. BR  
BR  
Lexie cries when I unlock the door. She runs upstairs to her bedroom.BR  
BR  
I smile and turn to Fox. We should start moving your stuff inside, I say.BR  
BR  
he replies. BR  
BR  
ll be right out, Im just going to check the answering machine and then run upstairs to check on Lexie.BR  
BR  
he says, turning around and going back outside.BR  
BR  
I go into the kitchen and check the machine. Surprisingly, theres not very many messages. A few from my mom. Oops, I think I forgot to tell her that I was going with Fox... She sounds worried. BR  
BR  
I pick up the phone to call her. BR  
BR  
she answers the phone.BR  
BR  
Hi, Mom.BR  
BR  
Dana! Where were you? she cries. I was worried sick!BR  
BR  
m sorry Mom... I decided to go with Fox to help him pack up his apartment.BR  
BR  
Oh, thats good. I wish youd have called me before you left.BR  
BR  
m sorry, Mom.BR  
BR  
s all right. Im happy for the two of you.BR  
BR  
I smile. So am I. Well, look, Id better go. Hes out there now, were going to try to get him moved in tonight. Ill talk to you later.BR  
BR  
All right, Dana. Bye.BR  
BR  
Bye, Mom. I hang up the phone.BR  
BR  
I go upstairs to Lexies room. I say.BR  
BR  
Mama, my dollies missed me! she tells me, holding up one of her dolls.BR  
BR  
Oh, well Im sure they did. Im going to help F--*Daddy* bring all of his stuff inside, so you stay in here, okay?BR  
BR  
Well, can I watch Bugs Life? she asks.BR  
BR  
I sigh. I wonder when--*if*--shell ever get over that movie. No, not now, Lexie. Just stay in here, okay?BR  
BR  
Lexie says with a frown. BR  
BR  
I smile at her and run back downstairs. Fox comes into the house carrying his suitcase. Honey, Im home! he calls, and I laugh, and decide to play along.BR  
BR  
Oh, did you have a good day, Darling? I say, giving him a hug and a kiss.BR  
BR  
I had a wonderful day, Pookie, he replies. BR  
BR  
I laugh, stepping away from him. Fox, if you *ever* call me Pookie again, I swear... I grin.BR  
BR  
He grins back. You swear what?BR  
BR  
Just... dont call me Pookie. Please.BR  
BR  
All right, Dana. Anything for you.BR  
BR  
I smile and tilt my head to the side. Well, we still have a lot of junk to bring inside. Come on, Ill help.BR  
BR  
We walk out of the house and out to the truck, hand in hand. BR  
BR  
~*~BR  
BR  
10:10 pmBR  
BR  
Good night, Lexie, I whisper, tucking her in.BR  
BR  
Good night, Mama. She gives me a hug, and then looks at Fox, who is waiting for me in the doorway. Good night, Daddy.BR  
BR  
He smiles. Good night, Lexie.BR  
BR  
I stand up from her bed and start to walk out of the room. I glance back at Lexie, who is now sitting up in bed and looking at Fox. She has her arms extended in a position. She wants a hug, I whisper to him on my way out. BR  
BR  
he replies, walking over to the bed. He leans down and gives Lexie a hug. I smile at the picture. Its so cute. I never imagined Fox Mulder as a father, but now, here he was.BR  
BR  
*****BR  
I follow Dana into her--our--bedroom, and I turn on the TV. She goes into the bathroom to brush her hair and teeth, and change. She comes back out a moment later, and lays down next to me. Im on the bed, watching a Knicks game.BR  
BR  
Do you want me to change it? I ask. I know shes never liked watching basketball.BR  
BR  
No, you can keep it on. You live here too, now, Fox. You can watch TV without my permission. She puts her head on my chest and stares at the TV, not watching the game, but just thinking. BR  
BR  
What are you thinking about, Dana? I ask her when the game goes to a commercial.BR  
BR  
I dont know. About you; us... the baby, she says, smiling.BR  
BR  
My hand moves and rests on her stomach, just underneath her t-shirt. Her hand meets mine there, and I hold onto it, gently rubbing my thumb against her skin. s David I say. We both knew that already, but it just came out.BR  
BR  
No. Its not. He never knew I was pregnant this time. Just because... just because you didnt help to create this child, Fox, its still yours. You will be the one with me through the pregnancy, and youre the only one the baby will know as a father. We never even have to tell the baby, if you dont want to. Dont ever think of yourself as not being this childs father... David *never* would have been there. I would have left him and had the baby, even if I didnt find you. She squeezes my hand. But Im glad I did.BR  
BR  
Thank you, Dana, I whisper to her. BR  
BR  
We need to think of a name for the baby, she says a moment later, rolling over and propping her head up on her hands.BR  
BR  
Yeah... what names did you think of the first time?BR  
BR  
David picked Lexies name, she tells me.BR  
BR  
BR  
BR  
she says. If its a girl.BR  
BR  
I smile at her. Samantha. Id like that.BR  
BR  
What about if its a boy? she asks.BR  
BR  
Hmm... I dont know, Dana. What names do you like?BR  
BR  
I like Fox, she says, smiling at me. I smile back, taking her hand. Christopher. Or Jeremy. BR  
BR  
I like those names, I agree, kissing her hand. You know what else we need to think about?BR  
BR  
She has her eyes closed and a little smile on her face.BR  
BR  
The wedding. BR  
BR  
Yeah, youre right, she replies, opening her eyes. I dont really want a big wedding.BR  
BR  
Well, thats fine with me. We dont have to invite every friend, family member, acquaintance, and anyone else we know. Just as long as Im invited this time, I say with a smile.BR  
BR  
I dont think we have to worry about that one. I think its kind of a given. She smiles for a moment and then looks away from me. The first time... when I married David... while I was walking down the aisle, I wanted so badly to see you at the end. But then I looked up, and you were gone. I was so sad that I didnt even invite you to the wedding... but I was afraid that it would have hurt both of us way too much.BR  
BR  
s all right, Dana. Dont worry. BR  
BR  
I never stopped loving you, Fox. Ever.BR  
BR  
I know. Neither did I. But... it was all in the past. David is gone now... you dont have to worry about that anymore.BR  
BR  
Right. I know. All I have to think of now is Lexie... and you. She looks back up at me and smiles again. I love it when she smiles. It lights up her whole face. She certainly didnt smile enough when we were together in the FBI. But now she does. And its a nice change. BR  
BR  
Shes really a whole new person now. Everything has changed about her. Even though she smiles more, I can tell she didnt smile enough when she was with David. He hurt her too badly. I wonder when the last time she was really happy was...BR  
BR  
Was it three months ago? Im that they must have been experiencing some sort of happiness then, if Dana was pregnant with his child now. Or was it something other than that? Was she not telling me something? David hit her, he physically hurt her... would he... God, its horrible just to think... And, of course, thats *all* I can think of, David and Dana... and David hurting Dana... that son of a bitch.BR  
BR  
Dana looks at me critically, as if shes reading my mind. *Is* she reading my mind? I wonder as her smile disappears and her eyes well up with tears. she says, and I put my arms around her and hold her close. she repeats, just hold me.BR  
BR  
~*~/P  
/BODY  
/HTML  
  



	8. Savage Garden Chapter Eight: I Want You

sg8

TITLE: Savage Garden Chapter Eight: I Want You  
AUTHOR: Gaia Less  
RATING: PG13  
SPOILERS: everything through season seven  
SUMMARY: Mulder and Scully are living together, finally.  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Mulder, Scully, or anyone else you might recognize from the series. They are owned by Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox. I dont own them. No copyright infringement is intended. I didn;t create em, I'm just playing with them. I'll give them back when I'm done. Promise!! Please don't sue me...   
  
All songs belong to Savage Garden.. yeah they rock.. and I'm just borrowing THEM too.. yeah hehe  
  
Archive anywhere, but please get my permission first :) tis as easy as emailing me and saying, Yo, Gaia, I wanna put your fanfic, [title here], on my site, okay? You can even simply cut and paste that sentence into an email document! I will reply with something along the lines of Hey, that's cool. Promote me! Yeah! Sweeeeet. See? Tis VERY easy :) Wowwww. Hehe  
  
notes and such at the end  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Eight  
I Want You  
by GL  
  
=============  
May 8th, 2003  
  
My alarm goes off at precisely 6:30. The radio comes on, and soft music fills the room. I listen to it for a moment, enjoying the warmth and comfort of Fox's arms around me.  
  
Ooh, I want you  
I don't know if I need you but  
Ooh, I'd die to find out  
Ooh, I want you  
I don't know if I need you but  
Ooh, I'd die to find out  
So can we find out?  
  
I smile and wriggle out of Fox's arms and turn off the radio. Morning, Dana, he says, sitting up in bed.  
  
Good morning, I reply. I stand up and walk over to the closet. I have to go back to work today, I tell him.  
  
So I have to stay all alone in this big house all day? he asks, frowning in mock-sadness.  
  
Not *all* alone. Lexie will be here, and Mom will probably stop by later. Maybe Bill and Tara, but I'm not sure, I reply.  
  
He stares at me for a moment. I can read his thoughts. The look on his face clearly is saying, I have to take care of a two-year-old who I hardly know *and* face your family, including your brother, who has, for some reason, held a grudge against me since he met me?  
  
Then he says, You don't mean I have to take care of a two-year-old who I hardly know *and* face your family, including your brother, who has, for some reason, held a grudge against me since he met me?  
  
I laugh out loud.   
  
What's so funny? he demands.  
  
Nothing... except that is *exactly* what I expected you to say, I tell him. And, you have to get used to watching Lexie for the day. If you're going to be a father then you'd better get used to it fast. And Mom likes you. So does Tara. It's just Bill. Tara will keep him calm, and if she doesn't, feel free to bite his head off. I agree, he can be a total idiot sometimes.  
  
The look on his face now registers defeat. All right, you win. Hey, I could be the kind of guy that takes animal heads as trophies and mount Bill's head on the wall! he jokes.  
  
Whatever. Don't hurt him *too* badly. I lean over and kiss the top of his head, and then go into the bathroom to get ready to go.  
  
*****  
Great. Wonderful.   
  
One thing about losing Dana before that's really bad now is that I'm here, I don't have a job as of yet, so I get to be the at-home husband (who isn't even the husband yet) *and* take on the duties of Dad and family guy. As in, having friendly conversation with the in-laws (who aren't even in-laws yet). Now, I don't mind two of those in-laws (who aren't in-laws yet) at all. But one of those in-laws (who isn't an in-law yet) hates me, and the feeling is mutual.   
  
Am I making sense? I doubt it. I'm confusing even myself.  
  
I sigh and swing my feet over the side of the bed. I then get dressed and head downstairs to get breakfast.  
  
I sit down at the table and pour myself a bowl of Cheerios, which, thankfully, are *not* old, stale, or moldy. That was one benefit of living here: I didn't have to worry about having an empty kitchen like my old one back in Washington.  
  
Then I stand up and go to the front door to get the newspaper. I sit back down at the table, reading the paper and eating my Cheerios, when someone comes into the room.  
  
Actually, two someones.  
  
Dana and Lexie walk into the kitchen, and Dana reaches across the table to pour each of them a bowl of cereal.  
  
Morning, Daddy, Lexie says, and it takes a second for me to realize she's addressing me.   
  
Oh, morning, Lexie, I reply. I really need to remember my new name: Daddy. It was going to take some getting used to.  
  
Good morning, Fox, Dana says with a smile.   
  
Good morning again, I say as she sits down across the table from me.  
  
Okay. Now, I know you've never spent a whole day being a parent, so I'll give you some background. She takes a breath before continuing. She talks pretty fast.   
  
The house is child-proof, as I'm sure you've discovered, so you don't have to worry about Lexie getting into anything she shouldn't, at least most of the time. She likes to play with her dolls, and she would probably love it if you'd play with them with her, but you don't have to if you don't want to. And of course, she loves to watch A Bug's Life, but if you can get her to watch a different movie that would be great. Lunch at noon, nap at one, I'll be home at around six.  
  
Nod, nod, nod. I think I got most of that... Did she say all of that in one breath? My God.  
  
She pauses a moment to breathe before saying, And... shoot, it's almost seven-fifteen now, I gotta be at the hospital by seven-thirty! She stands up, gives me a quick kiss, says, I love you, I'll see you later, says goodbye to Lexie, and runs out the door.  
  
All while I'm still nodding.  
  
I watch her go in disbelief. Then I turn to Lexie. Does she do that *every* morning? I ask her.  
  
Lexie shrugs. Where's Grammy? she asks.  
  
I say, thinking. Was she supposed to be here? Did Dana say anything about that? Think, Mulder, think! Oh yeah! I remember now... Gramma might come by later. But she's not going to be watching you in the morning anymore. I will.  
  
Lexie says, finishing her cereal. May I please watch Bug's Life? she asks me politely.   
  
I smile. I start to say, Sure, go ahead, and then I remember what Dana said. Something about watching a different movie maybe? She said it quite fast, and, I admit, I kinda got lost in there. But I do clearly remember if you can get her to watch another movie. So I say, Why don't we watch a different movie, Lexie?  
  
But I wanna watch Bug's Life, she says, crossing her arms.  
  
I take her hand and lead her into the living room. Come on, you have all of these other movies. Do you want to watch... --I pull a movie off the shelf-- The Lion King?  
  
  
  
What about Toy Story?  
  
No thank you. I want to watch Bug's Life.  
  
Even when she was complaining, she was polite. Geez, Dana sure brought her up well. She probably knew that if she was nice, she would get her way.  
  
So I let her have her way. I put her movie into the VCR and go back into the kitchen to clean up from breakfast.  
  
I can hear Lexie in the other room as she says the lines that she has committed to memory aloud. I put our bowls in the sink, and realize that *I* could already say the lines along with the movie myself.  
  
Oh, God.   
  
I'm becoming a Daddy.  
  
*****  
I park my car at the hospital and walk inside. I can't help but think about Fox. I hope that he does okay with Lexie and my family, if they stop by. I *did* give him his instructions on taking care of her pretty fast... I smile and shake my head. Oh, well. I'm sure he'll do just fine. At least, I hope so.  
  
Maybe I should have taken a few more days off of work, to help get him situated. No, I tell myself. Fox is a grown man, I don't need to take care of him as if he's a little kid. He used to be an FBI agent, so I'm sure I day taking care of a three-year-old and hanging around the house with my family shouldn't be such a challenge to him. Okay, maybe it will.  
  
I *really* need to stop worrying about him.  
  
Hi, Ann, I say, walking over to her.  
  
Hey, Dana, Ann says. How are you doing?  
  
I'm fine. When I see the concerned look on her face, I add, Believe me. I'm really all right. Fox-- I cut off, realizing I didn't tell Ann about Fox, besides that he was my partner in the FBI.  
  
Is he staying with you? Ann asks.  
  
Uh... yeah. Yeah, he's a big help to me, I answer, trying to cover the nervousness in my voice.  
  
she says quietly. Is there something else? Is something else bothering you?  
  
I sigh. Yes, Ann, I guess there is. But right now... I don't want to talk about it. I can't, not here.  
  
She nods understandingly. she agrees. Well, I gotta get back to work. I'll see you later.  
  
I say, heading off to get to work.  
  
~*~   
  
A Few Hours Later  
  
I finally get a chance to take a break at around one. As soon as I sit down, my cell phone rings.   
  
Hi, Dana, it's me, Fox says.  
  
Hi, me, I reply with a smile. How are you doing?  
  
Okay. I just put Lexie down for a nap.  
  
Is she being good for you?  
  
he answers. You know, this isn't as hard as I thought it would be.  
  
I'm glad. Have Mom or Bill come over yet?  
  
Fox replies. I can hear a little relief in his voice, and I have to smile.  
  
I glance at my watch again. Well, I gotta get going, my break is almost over. I love you, Fox.  
  
I love you too. Bye.  
  
I hang up my cell phone, and look up to see Ann standing in the doorway.  
  
*****  
I hang up the phone and walk out to the living room. Just as I'm about to sit down and turn on the TV, there's a knock on the door.  
  
I stare at the door for a moment, wondering if I should open it. Is Bill out there? Was he going to go crazy that *I* was here and answering the door, at Dana's house? I take deep breath. After all, it might just be Mrs. Scully.  
  
I open the door.  
  
It's *not* Mrs. Scully.  
  
It's not Bill, either. But close enough. It's Tara. But at least she doesn't hate me.  
  
Hi, Tara, I say.   
  
Oh, hi, Fox, she says. I don't think she was expecting me to answer the door. Not a good sign.  
  
Bill comes up to the house, followed by Matthew. Where's Dana? he asks me by way of a greeting.  
  
She's at work today, I reply coolly, trying not to make it sound mean. She'll be back at around six or so. I get an idea. Why don't you come by for dinner tonight? At seven or so?  
  
Tara glances at Bill, who shrugs indifferently. We'd love to, she replies for him.  
  
*****  
Ann gives me a questioning look, and then crosses the room to sit down across the table from me. Obviously, she'd heard me say, I love you, Fox.  
  
I blush and pull my left hand into a fist, letting my thumb rest on top of the ring. I stare down at it, and then look back up at Ann. What's going on, Dana? she asks me.  
  
I sigh. No more hiding. All right. I didn't tell you everything about Fox, I admit.  
  
Okay. Spill it, Dana, she says, hiding a smile. She tries to feign annoyance, but it doesn't quite work. Well, that's what best friends are for, I guess.  
  
I try to think of how to tell her this. Four years ago... Back when I was in the FBI, Fox and I were partners. We had been partners for about seven years, when I realized something. I was in love with him. I told him this, and we... well, he told me he was in love with me, too. But... we got in a fight about something really stupid, and I left, and I came here, to Ohio. But the last time... after my last fight with David, I went to Fox's apartment back in DC. And I realized how much I missed him, and that I never stopped loving him. I smile. I told him that. And... he asked me to marry him.  
  
Wow. It felt really good telling her that. Almost--no, better that it had felt telling her that David had proposed to me.  
  
Much better.  
  
Really? Oh, Dana... Ann cries, standing up and giving me a hug. Why didn't you tell me?  
  
I was afraid that you'd, oh, I don't know... that you'd say something like, But what about David?' I shake my head. David's dead. And it's better off that way.  
  
Hey, hey, Dana, don't get mad. I wasn't going to say that. You're doing what your heart tells you to do. If it seems right, then go for it, she says.   
  
Why does that sound so familiar?  
  
Oh.   
  
My.   
  
That's what Missy told me, so many years ago.  
  
I smile. I say. Well, my break is just about over. I better get going.  
  
Me too. And thanks for telling me, Dana.  
  
Hey, that's what friends are for, I reply with a smile. See you. I stand up from the table and walk out of the room.  
  
*****  
6:12 pm  
  
I hear the front door open and close. Dana calls brightly.  
  
I call back from the kitchen.  
  
I hear Dana's footsteps as she walks toward the kitchen. Oh. You're cooking, she says, and I turn away from the stove.  
  
I reply, seeing the bags of groceries that she's carrying. Oh... Sorry. I was going to call you again, but I was afraid you were busy.  
  
Oh well. We can save it for tomorrow. Something smells good anyway, she says, setting the bags down on the counter and leaning in the doorway and grinning. She looks around. Where's Lexie?  
  
Um, she's in the other room. She's watching The Little Mermaid'.  
  
'The Little Mermaid'? she repeats incredulously. Not A Bug's Life'?  
  
I reply, turning back to the spaghetti sauce.  
  
Geez... you're turning into Wonder Dad or something.  
  
Am I? I ask, wiping my hands and walking over to her. I put my arms around her and give her a kiss. She smiles up at me, and asks, So, why are you cooking, anyway?  
  
Oh. Tara and your brother stopped by earlier, but left when they realized you weren't here. *But,* I say, I invited them to come by for dinner.  
  
You did? she asks, her eyes widening. Gosh. I am very impressed, Fox. She smiles, but doesn't say anything else. Then she lifts herself up on tiptoe to kiss me again. Well... when are they going to be here?  
  
In about... a half hour, I say, glancing at the clock behind her.  
  
Okay. I better go change. I'll be down in a bit.  
  
I smile at her, and then turn back to the spaghetti.  
  
*****  
That man amazes me. He simply amazes me.   
  
Maybe that's why I love him so much. I can't believe how easily he told me that Bill and Tara were coming for dinner. He's hated Bill for years. Was he being serious? Or was he just trying to impress me?  
  
Oh well. Either way, I love him for it.  
  
I smile and open up my closet. I find something comfortable but nice to wear, quickly get dressed, and then hurry back downstairs. Do you need any help? I ask Fox when I go back into the kitchen.  
  
Nope, I have everything under control. You still sound like you don't believe that I can cook, he tells me with a grin.  
  
I guess I don't. I don't think I saw you ever once cook before these past few days, you know that?  
  
Lexie cries, running in from the other room.   
  
Hi, Lexie, I say, picking her up and giving her a hug. Did you have fun with Daddy today?  
  
Yeah! I didn't watch Bug's Life, Mama! Daddy showed me a movie about a little mermaid!  
  
Really, sweetie? Did you like it?  
  
  
  
Even better than Bug's Life?   
  
Yeah! Mama, this movie was about a *mermaid!* she cries, as if I'm supposed to realize that mermaids are so much better than bugs now.   
  
I smile. Did Daddy tell you Uncle Bill and Aunt Tara are coming over tonight? I ask her, glancing at Fox.   
  
Aunt Tara's coming? she cries happily. Are they gonna bring Matt?  
  
I think so, I reply. You better go get cleaned up for dinner, sweetie.  
  
Kay, Mama! Lexie cries, scampering off.  
  
Wow. Fox, you could win the Dad of the Year Award or something, I say with a grin.  
  
You really think so? he replies, checking his reflection on the microwave. He picks up a pitcher and holds it the way he could hold a trophy. My acceptance speech could run along the lines of: I'd like to thank the most important person in the world to me, my lovely wife, Dana. Because without her, this award just wouldn't be possible.' And you could run up onstage with Lexie, and--  
  
Oh shut up. Don't get so full of yourself, I joke. Now, you get upstairs and clean up, too. I'll finish dinner up.   
  
He kisses the tip of my nose, and leaves the kitchen.   
  
On his way out, I hear him mutter, Dad of the Year Award...  
  
*****  
The phone rings when I get into the bedroom. Dana calls from downstairs, Fox, can you get that up there?  
  
I say. The phone rings again, and I pick it up. Mul--Uh, hello?  
  
Oh, Fox. Hi. It's Tara.  
  
Oh, hi, Tara, I say. What's up?  
  
I hate to tell you this at such short notice, but we're at the airport right now. Bill had to get back out on the next flight. So, obviously, we won't be joining you and Dana for dinner.  
  
Oh. Um, well, that's all right. If you have to leave, then you have to leave. But we will see you back here for the wedding, won't we?  
  
Of course! Well, Bill's trying to hurry me, so I'll let you go. Tell Dana and Lexie we said goodbye.  
  
Okay. Bye, Tara.  
  
  
  
I hang up the phone, and then I pick it up again. I have another idea.  
  
*****  
I finish up the spaghetti. At that exact moment, Fox comes downstairs, and there's a knock on the door. It's not quite seven yet... Bill and Tara must be early.  
  
Got it, Fox says. He opens the door, and lets Bill and Tara in.  
  
Scratch that. No he doesn't.   
  
He lets my mom in.  
  
Hi, Mom, I say. I didn't know she was coming over, too.  
  
Hi, Dana, she says, giving me a quick hug. Then she goes into the back room, where Lexie is playing.  
  
Fox pulls me aside. Who called before? I ask him.  
  
Tara and Bill. They had to leave.  
  
Oh. But--Mom?  
  
She's taking Lexie out for dinner. I thought we could have a quiet, candle-lit dinner... alone... he says with a mischievous smile.  
  
My mouth opens slightly, and a smile plays on my lips. Then I reply just as mischievously, Just dinner?  
  
~*~  
  
  



	9. Savage Garden Chapter Nine: Truly Madly ...

sg9

TITLE: Savage Garden Chapter Nine: Truly Madly Deeply  
AUTHOR: Gaia Less  
RATING: PG13  
SPOILERS: everything through season seven  
  
SUMMARY: Five months later.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Mulder, Scully, or anyone else you might recognize from the series. They are owned by Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox. I dont own them. No copyright infringement is intended. I didn;t create em, I'm just playing with them. I'll give them back when I'm done. Promise!! Please don't sue me...   
  
All songs belong to Savage Garden.. yeah they rock.. and I'm just borrowing THEM too.. yeah hehe  
  
Archive anywhere, but please get my permission first :) tis as easy as emailing me and saying, Yo, Gaia, I wanna put your fanfic, [title here], on my site, okay? You can even simply cut and paste that sentence into an email document! I will reply with something along the lines of Hey, that's cool. Promote me! Yeah! Sweeeeet. See? Tis VERY easy :) Wowwww. Hehe  
  
notes and such at the end  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Nine  
Truly Madly Deeply  
by GL  
  
=============  
October 12th  
Five Months Later  
10:16 pm  
  
God, look at her.  
  
She's sleeping right now. And glowing. What they say about pregnant women is true, they do glow. And you don't get much more pregnant than she is right now.  
  
She's almost into her ninth month. We're all ready for the baby. We didn't have to do too much shopping, because Dana still had a lot of things left over from when Lexie was a baby. But we did redecorate the extra bedroom for the baby. Lexie is very excited about being a big sister. She wanted to paint the room pink, just like her own. But since Dana didn't want to know whether the baby was a boy or a girl, we painted the room yellow, which could be a good color for either.   
  
Dana says, opening her eyes. she whispers, looking up on me.  
  
Hi. You can go back to sleep, I whisper back.  
  
No. No, I'm up. She sits up. I've been sleeping a lot. I'm sick of sleeping. I offer her my hand to help her stand up. She takes it, and we walk downstairs together.   
  
We walk into the kitchen. I'm hungry, she tells me, sitting at the table.  
  
What do you want? I ask her, opening the refridgerator. *Please, let it be something we have...* I can't count the number of times she's asked me to go searching for some weird, rare-to-the-area food. She has the weirdest cravings sometimes.  
  
I don't know, just a sandwich or something. She closes her eyes.  
  
You okay? I ask her.  
  
She reopens her eyes and smiles. Yeah. I'm fine. The baby's just kicking again, she says lightly.  
  
Geez, Dana, that kid's gonna be a soccer player or something! I joke.  
  
She smiles, but then says, Wait. I want ice cream, she says.  
  
I sigh and put away the lunchmeat and open the freezer.  
  
Of course, no ice cream.  
  
We don't have any ice cream, I tell her.  
  
She looks at me with a frown. You sure? she asks sadly.  
  
She can get me to do almost anything she wants with just that look. I sigh again. What kind of ice cream do you want? I ask defeatedly.  
  
~*~  
  
I can get him do do anything I want with that look. I smile. Then I make my way out to the living room and lie down on the couch.   
  
Oh. There that was again. But... the baby wasn't just kicking this time.   
  
Oh.  
  
I grab the cordless phone off the coffee table and dial Fox's cell phone number.  
  
he answers it.  
  
Fox--don't worry about the ice cream.  
  
  
  
Just... come back home now. I pause and catch my breath. It's time.  
  
What?! Are you sure?  
  
I'm sure, I tell him calmly.  
  
Okay. I'm on my way there right now.  
  
Okay. Hurry.  
  
I'm turning down our street right now. See you in a minute.  
  
I hang up the phone and lean back into the couch. *Oh, please hurry, Fox...*  
  
~*~  
  
October 13th  
3:32 am  
  
It's a girl, the doctor tells me.  
  
I smile and grab Fox's hand. The doctor wraps the baby up in a blanket and hands her to me. I sit up and hold the crying baby in my arms.  
  
Fox kneals down next to me. I turn to him and smile. I love you, I whisper to him.  
  
I love you, too. Both of you.  
  
I give the baby to Fox. I say, still smiling. Then I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.  
  
~*~  
  
I wake up a few hours later. Fox is sitting in a chair in my room, with Lexie on his lap. He sees me wake up. Good morning.  
  
Hi... what time is it?  
  
About nine, he replies.  
  
When did Lexie get here?  
  
A little while ago. Your mom brought her over.  
  
Where's Mom?  
  
She just went to the bathroom, he says, just as she walks back into the room.  
  
Hi, Mom, I smile, and she walks over to me and gives me a hug.  
  
She's beautiful, Dana, she whispers to me. How are you feeling?  
  
I'm okay. The baby, is she all right?  
  
Yup. I just saw her when I went by the nursery.  
  
I turn to Fox and smile again. I want to see her, I say. He nods, puts Lexie down, and then goes to find a nurse to get the baby.  
  
He returns a few moments later, and a nurse comes in behind him, carrying the baby. She hands her to me, says, and leaves the room. Then Mom and Lexie go out of the room, leaving Fox and me alone with the baby.  
  
I sigh happily. She's so perfect, I breathe, brushing her forehead lightly with my fingertips. Samantha Ann, I say, trying out the name we'd picked.  
  
He smiles at me, but doesn't say a word. Words aren't even needed.   
  
Samantha opens her eyes and looks up at me. Hello, little one, I say, smiling. She stares at me for another moment, and then starts to cry.  
  
It was a noise that we'd definitely have to get used to.  
  
Or at least Fox would anyway.  
  
The crying doesn't seem to bother him. In fact, he keeps the same calm face on. *Of course, he has never had to wake up at three a.m. to the sounds of a screaming baby,* I think with a grin.  
  
When Samantha's crying tapers off to a quiet whimper, I remember something. Hey. Happy birthday, Fox.  
  
he says. Oh. I guess it *is* my birthday.  
  
And Samantha's, too.  
  
Weird. It must be an X-File, *Scully,* he says with a grin. *Scully.* No one's called me Scully in about five years or so...   
  
I hand Samantha off to Fox, and lean back in the bed. He rocks her gently. Whoa. He looks more like a father now than he ever has around Lexie. And just because he isn't Samantha's birth father (or Lexie's, for that matter), doesn't mean he's any less of a father than David was, or would have been. In fact, he's a better father. He doesn't yell, or argue, or anything like that.   
  
He's the man that I want my children to grow up with, and look at as their Daddy.  
  
*****  
December 15th  
2:01 am  
  
  
  
Dana mumbles, rolling over. She puts her pillow over her head. Your turn.  
  
No it's not. It's *your* turn, I insist.  
  
Would you just go in there before Lexie wakes up?  
  
I sigh. Sure, fine, whatever, I whisper, shooting her a look. She doesn't seem to notice, or care.   
  
I walk quietly into the baby's room, and I pick her up gently. What's the matter, Sam? I ask. She stops crying as soon as I pick her up. I carry her over to a rocking chair and sit down. See? That's better, I tell her.  
  
Sam looks around the room for a little while before closing her eyes. She whimpers a little more before she falls back asleep.  
  
I sit there for a little while longer. The past two months have been a miricle to me. I never thought I'd get to experience what being a parent was like. Taking care of a baby was a lot different than taking care of Lexie. But it made me *really* feel like a father. And it felt really good.  
  
*****  
Is she okay? I whisper when I hear Fox come back into the room.  
  
he replies.  
  
You know what, Fox?  
  
  
  
I think she likes you.  
  
He pauses for a moment, presumably taking this in, thinking about it. He doesn't respond. Instead, he gets back into bed and pulls me closer. He kisses the back of my head and says, I don't think I mind that.  
  
Mind what?  
  
The baby.  
  
Oh. Yeah. I smile sleepily. Should I be jealous? I joke.  
  
Only if you think you should be, he replies. He sounds just as tired as I do. He kisses the back of my head again, and whispers, I love you, Dana.  
  
I love you too.  
  
~*~  
  
I'll be your dream I'll be your wish  
I'll be your fantasy  
I'll be your hope I'll be your love  
Be everything that you need  
I'll love you more with every breath  
Truly madly deeply do  
I will be strong  
I will be faithful  
Cuz I'm counting on  
  
A new beginning   
A reason for living  
A deeper meaning yeah  
  
I wanna stand with you on a mountain  
I wanna bathe with you in the sea  
I wanna lay like this forever  
Until the sky falls down on me  
  
And when the stars are shining   
brightly in the velvet sky  
I'll make a wish send it to heaven   
then make you want to cry  
The tears of joy for all the   
pleasure in the certainty  
That we're surrounded by the   
comfort and protection of   
  
The highest powers  
In lonely hours  
The tears devour you  
  
I wanna stand with you on a mountain  
I wanna bathe with you in the sea  
I wanna lay like this forever  
Until the sky falls down on me  
  
Oh can you see it baby?  
You don't have to close your eyes  
Cause it's standing right before you  
All that you need will surely come  
  
I'll be your dream I'll be your wish  
I'll be your fantasy  
I'll be your hope I'll be your love  
Be everything that you need  
I'll love you more with every breath  
Truly madly deeply do  
  
I wanna stand with you on a mountain  
I wanna bathe with you in the sea  
I wanna lay like this forever  
Until the sky falls down on me  
  
~*~  
  



	10. Savage Garden Chapter Ten: Crash and Bur...

sg10

TITLE: Savage Garden Chapter Ten: Crash and Burn  
AUTHOR: Gaia Less  
RATING: PG13  
SPOILERS: everything through season seven  
  
SUMMARY: Mulder and Scully's marriage is tested by a twist of fate.   
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Mulder, Scully, or anyone else you might recognize from the series. They are owned by Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox. I dont own them. No copyright infringement is intended. I didn;t create em, I'm just playing with them. I'll give them back when I'm done. Promise!! Please don't sue me...   
  
All songs belong to Savage Garden.. yeah they rock.. and I'm just borrowing THEM too.. yeah hehe  
  
Archive anywhere, but please get my permission first :) tis as easy as emailing me and saying, Yo, Gaia, I wanna put your fanfic, [title here], on my site, okay? You can even simply cut and paste that sentence into an email document! I will reply with something along the lines of Hey, that's cool. Promote me! Yeah! Sweeeeet. See? Tis VERY easy :) Wowwww. Hehe  
  
notes and such at the end  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Ten  
Crash and Burn  
by GL  
  
=============  
February 8th, 2004  
2:57 pm  
  
Lexie calls from her bedroom.   
  
What, sweetheart? I call from my room down the hall. I walk into her room.   
  
Mama, I wanna hold the baby, she tells me.   
  
I smile. Lexie has loved being a big sister. She doesn't mind that she doesn't get as much attention as she used to. She seems to understand that the baby needs a little more attention.   
  
And she loves her sister, too. She just thinks it's so much fun helping Fox and I take care of Samantha. Or at least pretending to help. She's still pretty little, she'll be three in just a few days. It's so cute... when she tries to say Samantha,' it comes out as Amantha.' It sounds almost like Amanda. She mostly just calls her Sam though, because it's easier to say, and because Fox has taken to calling her Sam, too.  
  
Well, I don't know, sweetie. I think she's sleeping right now.   
  
I take Lexie's hand and we walk into Sam's room. To my surprise, Sam is lying flat on her stomach, with her head up, looking around the room curiously. Oh! Well, good morning, sleepyhead, I say cheerfully, lifting her up. Normally, she cries when she wakes up. Why don't you go downstairs and sit on the sofa, sweetie? I tell Lexie.  
  
She scampers downstairs.  
  
I hold Samantha for a few more moments, smiling at her. She grins her toothless smile back up at me. I tickle her tummy for a second, and she giggles.   
  
I carry her downstairs, to the living room, where Lexie is seated on the couch. I sit down beside her and carefully hand her the baby. Lexie smiles down at her, and rocks her a little back and forth. Know what, Mama?  
  
  
  
A real baby is so much funner than a dolly, she says.  
  
I chuckle. When I was pregnant with Samantha, Lexie played with her dolls every single day, taking care of them, and saying that they were either her little sister, or her baby.  
  
I kiss the top of her head just as the door opens, and Fox comes into the room. Honey, I'm home! he says jokingly, seeing me on the couch. He loves saying that... and I think it's hilarious too. I take the baby back from Lexie and stand up to give him a kiss.  
  
Lexie squeals, running up to him.   
  
Fox picks her up and gives her a bear hug. Hi, Lexie! he says.  
  
I missed you, Daddy! she cries.  
  
I was only gone two days, he says.   
  
I missed you, too, I say.  
  
He leans over Samantha to give me a kiss. I hate being gone so long. Two days seems like an eternity to me now.  
  
I sigh. He's been working out of a nearby FBI field office, and normally he doesn't have to be gone too long. But occasionally, he does, and even though it's only for a day or two, it seems like so long. We spent an hour on the phone the night before, but it still seemed like he was a million miles away instead of just across the state.  
  
~*~  
  
10:00 pm  
  
I sit alone in bed, staring at a book that I'd started reading the other day. But I wasn't really reading it. I was thinking again, about the wedding.  
  
We'd set the date. We were getting married on May 19, 2004. Only two and a half months left... I'd been waiting almost a year for this already. Hell, longer than a year, longer than four years. I had been waiting almost *twelve* years!   
  
I call.  
  
he comes out of the bathroom, wiping his hair with a towel.   
  
Do you realize we've known each other almost twelve years? I ask him, setting my book down.  
  
Twelve years... he mouths. Geez, has it really been that long?  
  
I nod slowly. I can't believe it either. I also can't believe that it took us that long to get here.  
  
Better late then never, he says, stretching out next to me on the bed.  
  
I trail off. It's just that... I'm starting to feel *old.*  
  
Old? You, Dana? he smiles. You don't look a day older than... the day you left.  
  
Ha. Sure I didn't. I looked almost four years older. I was going to be forty-one at the end of the month, and I had two young daughtera and a fiance. My hair was even starting to turn gray... But if Fox thought that I didn't look old, then so be it.  
  
He didn't look so old either, about the same as he had when I left him. His hair was starting to gray too... but it made him look good.   
  
Twelve years, Dana... and I loved you more every single day. So imagine... twelve years... the number of days in there... I just love you so much. More than I could ever tell you.  
  
Four thousand, three hundred eighty, I whisper.  
  
  
  
Twelve years, I reply. Four thousand, three hundred eighty days.  
  
Nobody likes a math geek, Scully, he says, smiling. Somehow that phrase sounded vaguely familiar... I know he'd said it before, but I couldn't remember when.   
  
*Well,* I hoped, *it would never be over between us again. Ever.*  
  
~*~  
  
a tiny voice whispers.  
  
I roll over and bury my face in the pillow. It was the first time that I'd gotten more than three consecutive hours of sleep in weeks.  
  
  
  
I sigh, defeated. What is it, Lexie?  
  
I can't sleep.  
  
Sure you can, I say, opening my eyes and looking at her forlorn expression. What's the matter?  
  
Sam's crying, she tells me.  
  
No she's... I hear a soft, almost inaudible, cry coming from Sam's room. I stand up from the bed and take Lexie's hand. On the way out of the room, I glance back at Fox, who is still sound asleep on the bed.  
  
I put Lexie back in her bed, and tuck her back in. Go back to sleep, sweetheart. I'll go take care of the baby.  
  
She closes her eyes, and I stand up, and close the door.  
  
Then I walk across the hall into Samantha's room. She isn't crying so much anymore. Someone is standing there, holding her.  
  
Is she okay, Fox? I ask him, squinting in the dim light. He doesn't respond. Fox? Is she okay?  
  
He turns around, and stares down at me with a sad look on his face.  
  
It's not Fox.  
  
It's David.  
  
*****  
A scream wakes me up. I sit up in bed. Another scream, followed by Samantha's crying. I notice that Dana isn't next to me.  
  
I call, worried. I run down the hallway to Samantha's room, and find Dana sobbing on the floor, and Sam next to her, also crying.  
  
I drop to my knees. Dana, what happened?  
  
she chokes out, throwing her arms around me.   
  
I hold her tightly for a moment. What happened? I repeat. Are you okay?  
  
I--no! I saw--I saw-- she stutters.   
  
I let go of her a moment later and pick up Samantha. The baby is shaking. I rock her to stop her from crying, and then I put her back in the crib. Then I kneel back down on the floor with Dana. She's not crying so hard anymore, and I take her hand to pull her to her feet, and lead her back to our bedroom.  
  
Dana, please, tell me what happened, I beg, standing close to her.   
  
She takes a deep breath. I don't know, she whispers. Lexie came in, and told me the baby was crying... and when I went into Samantha's room, I saw David holding Samantha.  
  
Oh... oh, Dana... it was just a bad dream. It's okay.  
  
I thought he was going to hurt her, she says hoarsely. I thought...  
  
Shh... Dana, no ones going to hurt her. No one's going to hurt you, ever again. David's gone... he's not coming back. I shake my head slowly, and then lead her back over to the bed. Everything's all right.  
  
She nods. I know... but David... when I was with him, I was always so afraid, that he was going to hurt Lexie or something... but when I saw him in there just now, or thought I saw him, I was afraid that he'd come back to hurt Samantha.  
  
But he's not. I'm here now... it was just a bad dream. It's all over now. Okay?  
  
She nods. I know. I'm just so afraid of him.  
  
Don't be. He can't hurt you anymore. Even if he was still alive, Dana, I tell her, I wouldn't let him hurt you.  
  
Thank you, Fox.  
  
I love you, Dana.  
  
~*~  
  
When you feel all alone  
And the world has turned it's back on you  
Give me a moment please  
To tame your wild, wild heart  
I know you feel like the wall are closing in on you  
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold  
  
When darkness is upon your door   
And you feel like you can't take anymore  
  
Let me be the one you call  
If you jump I will break your fall  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
If you need to fall apart  
I can mend a broken heart  
If you need to crash then crash and burn you're not alone  
  
When you feel all alone  
And a loyal friend is hard to find  
You call it a one way street  
With the monsters in your head  
  
When hopes and dreams are far away  
And you feel like you can't face the day  
  
Let me be the one you call  
If you jump I will break your fall  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
If you need to fall apart  
I can mend a broken heart  
If you need to crash then crash and burn you're not alone  
  
Cause there has always been heartache and pain  
And when it's over you'll breathe again  
You'll breathe again  
  
When you feel all alone  
And the world has turned its back on you  
Give me a moment please   
To tame your wild wild heart  
  
Let me be the one you call  
If you jump I will break your fall  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
If you need to fall apart  
I can mend a broken heart  
If you need to crash then crash and burn you're not alone  
  
~*~  
  
May 19th, 2004  
  
Dana didn't have anymore bad dreams about David in the next three and a half months. In fact, she even seems to smile a lot more than she had before.   
  
Now, finally, the day that we'd been waiting for has arrived. And we were both ready.  
  
*****  
Mom and Tara help me with my dress. I'm beginning to feel sort of nervous. Neither Fox or I had spoken to Bill since they came into town, but I'm assuming Tara did. I hope he listened to her.  
  
I look in the mirror. I can't believe I'm seeing myself. I never pictured getting married again... Is this really me in the reflection, wearing a beautiful wedding dress? Is this really *my* wedding day? Am I really marrying Fox Mulder?  
  
A tear rolls down my cheek. I can't believe it. The answer to all those questions is yes.   
  
Dana, don't cry! Your mascara will run! Tara says, rushing over to me. She hands me a kleenex.  
  
I say with a smile. I just can't believe that this is really it. It's the real thing.  
  
Ohh, I'm so happy for you two! she cries, giving me a hug.  
  
I say again.   
  
My mom comes into the room. Dana, you look so beautiful! she cries. She looks ready to cry. I don't know if it's from the wedding, or remembering her and dad's wedding. But it's the same look she got the first time I'd gotten married. She comes over and gives me a hug. My baby girl...  
  
Mom, don't make me start crying! I say, my voice wavering.  
  
I'm sorry. But even when you married David... she says. I always thought you'd end up marrying Fox. And I'm so happy you finally are.  
  
Oh, Mom, I say.  
  
I glance at the clock. Still another twenty minutes until the wedding begins. I can't wait.  
  
I never imagined that I'd be getting married again. Ever since I met Fox... at first we had been just friends. But then I fell in love with him. It was so hard for me to tell him how I felt... how I'd always felt, but never expressed. But I'm so glad I did. He has gotten me out of so many predicaments, whether or not they were life-threatening. I owe him my life for that... or, at least, my love.  
  
I sit and think about the last thirteen years that I'd known Fox, and the four years that I'd been without him... and then these last few months. My mom's voice shatters my reverie. Dana? It's time.  
  
I stare up at her. Then I take a deep breath and stand up and follow her and Tara out of the room.  
  
It's finally happening. Fox and I are finally getting married.  
  
The doors of the church open, and I see Fox standing at the end of the aisle. He smiles at me, and I begin to walk down the aisle toward him.  
  
The ceremony goes by like a dream. I still can't believe this is really it. We exchange rings, and vows, and before I know it, the priest says, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.  
  
My veil is lifted and Fox kisses me. I can hear my mom crying from her seat in the front. He smiles at me and we walk back up the aisle and out of the church.  
  
I can't believe it. It's finally happened.  
  
~*~  
  
May 26th  
6:11 pm  
  
  
  
We're home!  
  
Mama! Daddy! Lexie comes running, and jumps up and down until I pick her up. Mama! Did you have fun?  
  
Yes, I did. Did you have fun with Gramma?  
  
  
  
I pass her over to Fox when my mom comes into the room. She passes Samantha to me, and she gives me her one-toothed grin, and says, She's only seven months old, but she's already starting to talk. Lexie was the same way.   
  
Hi sweetie! I say to her, bouncing her up and down a little. She giggles, and then Fox puts Lexie down, and I pass Samantha over to him.   
  
I walk over to my mom. Thanks so much for watching the kids while we were gone. We really appreciate it.  
  
Well, it's my pleasure, Mom says with a smile.  
  
Were they good for you?  
  
Of course! They always are! And they're getting so big, too!  
  
Bye-bye, Gramma! Lexie says, waving.  
  
Bye-bye, Lexie, Mom replies, putting on her coat. She gives me a hug and a kiss, and then hugs Fox, too. I'll see you later.  
  
Bye, Mom, I say, taking the baby again from Fox. Gosh, I'm hungry, I say. We hadn't eaten anything since lunch, which was hours ago.  
  
So am I, Fox agrees.  
  
Are you hungry, Lexie? I ask. She nods. I sigh. I don't feel like cooking.  
  
Let's go out, we could pick up some fast food or whatever.  
  
Sounds like a plan to me. I yawn. We had gone to a quiet Indonesian Island, Lauren for our honeymoon, and we were *very* jet-lagged. I had gotten a little sleep on the plane, but I was still exhausted.  
  
Aren't you exhausted? he asks me, reading my mind.  
  
I smile.   
  
I'll get dinner. McDonald's sound okay?  
  
Sure. Doesn't matter.  
  
All right. He gives me a kiss goodbye, and I smile.   
  
Love you, I whisper, standing close to him for a moment.  
  
He smiles down at me. I love you too. I'll be back in a half-hour.  
  
Okay. Bye.  
  
Bye, Dana.  
  
I watch him walk out the door, and then I take the kids upstairs.  
  
~*~  
  
Fifteen Minutes Later  
  
As I'm changing my clothes, I get a sudden chill. *Something's wrong.* As soon as I'm done dressing, I rush down the hallway into Samantha's room. She's playing happily in her crib. I turn around, and see David standing in the doorway. Oh, God... I squeeze my eyes shut. *He's not there, he's not real...*  
  
The phone rings. I open my eyes. David's gone.  
  
I rush down the hall to my room, and I pick up the phone.   
  
It's Ann. She sounds upset.  
  
What? Ann, what's the matter?  
  
Dana, you'd better get down here. It's Fox... There's been an accident.  
  
~*~  
  
I've never driven so fast.  
  
I run up the hospital frantically, carrying Samantha, and with Lexie trying to keep up, holding on tightly to my coat. Ann meets me on my way in. I cry. She rushes up to me. Is it... is it bad? I ask her, on the verge of tears.  
  
I don't know. He's unconscious, but he's got a steady heartbeat. He's breathing on a ventilator. I-I really don't know, Dana.  
  
I want to see him, I tell her.  
  
Ann nods and leads me to his room.  
  
Oh, God, I whisper, once inside. I rush to his side, and I find his hand and hold it to my cheek.  
  
I've never seen him look so bad. Cuts and bruises cover his face. One eye is swollen shut.  
  
Why?  
  
Oh, God, why?  
  
I kneel by his bed, sobbing. I barely even notice that my mother comes in to take Lexie and Samantha.  
  
Please, Fox... don't leave me. Not yet. I kiss his hand. Not now. I put my head down on the side of his bed. Fox. I know you can get through this. I have faith in you. I *believe* in you. I shake my head sadly. And I don't think I could live without you, I whisper.  
  
*****  
I scream for help, but no one listens.  
  
Dana?  
  
What's the matter?  
  
Don't cry... don't cry. What's wrong, Dana?   
  
Dana? Can't you hear me?  
  
Dana?!  
  
Dana... what happened to me? Why am I here?  
  
Who's that... behind you, Dana?  
  
Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on here?!  
  
*****  
I don't know how long I kneel there for, but suddenly, a presence fills the room.  
  
I hear the door shut.  
  
I slowly turn away from Fox, and I see David standing in the doorway.  
  
I sputter. You're not real, I manage to choke out.  
  
David says.  
  
Go away! I cry. I stand up and walk around Fox's bed, trying to get as far away from David as I can, without leaving Fox's side.  
  
Dana. I'm sorry.  
  
No you're not! I shout. No you're not! If you're so damn sorry then why are you doing this? Why are you here?!  
  
Dana, I loved you--  
  
You're lying! You never loved me!  
  
I did, Dana. He takes a step forward.  
  
Get the hell away from me! I clutch Fox's hand and kneel down on the ground, trying to make myself as small as possible.  
  
I loved you, Dana. Maybe I didn't always show it, but I did. I do. And that's why I'm here. Because I love you. And... I want you to be happy. He lays a down on Fox's chest. But maybe you never loved me.  
  
Tears fall from my eyes. I close my eyes and brush them away. When I look up again, David is gone.  
  
Ann rushes into the room. I heard screaming. Dana, are you okay?  
  
I say, shakily standing up. I look down at Fox.  
  
His eyes are open. He looks up at me.  
  
I cry. Oh, my God! His mouth moves as he tries to speak. No, don't, I tell him, touching his lips with my fingers. You're on a ventilator. But don't worry--you're going to be okay. I look up at Ann with tears in my eyes. She has an amazed, awed look on her face, and then leaves the room, presumably to go get help.  
  
I knew you'd pull through, I whisper, sitting on the side of the bed. He squeezes my hand, and still tries to speak. Do you--can you write it down? I ask him. He nods. I pull out a piece of paper and a pen, and he writes, slowly and carefully, one word before handing me the paper.  
  
I stare at the paper, and gasp.   
  
There is one word that is written on the paper.  
  
DAVID.  
  
~*~   
  
June 29th  
9:59 pm  
  
I still don't understand it. None of the doctors do. Ann hadn't wanted to tell me then, but she said that she was sure that Fox was never going to wake up.  
  
I didn't explain to her what happened in the room, just before Fox woke up.  
  
I've told him. He doesn't understand it, either. He doesn't remember much, but he does remember seeing David in the room.   
  
I think it was a miracle.  
  
One other thing I don't understand is why it had to happen. We had been home for all of fifteen minutes... and coming home from our honeymoon, too, of all things. And why did David come back, and heal Fox? Whatever it was, whether it really happened or if it was a figment of my imagination, I don't understand any of it.  
  
And today, Fox finally gets to come home. We're on our way there right now. I glance at Fox, who is staring out the window. What's the matter?  
  
Hmm? Oh. Nothing, he says, turning to me and smiling. Just thinking.  
  
About what?  
  
he says with another smile.  
  
I smile back, and pull the car into the driveway. I'm so happy you finally get to come home. It hasn't been the same without you there.  
  
I'm glad I get to be home, too, he says, leaning over to give me a kiss.  
  
I love you, I whisper, closing my eyes and returning the kiss. We part, and get out of the car. We walk up to the house, hand-in-hand.  
  
As soon as the door is opened, Lexie comes running. she cries, running into his arms. Are you gonna stay at home now?  
  
Of course I am, he answers, hugging her. Say hi to your Mom.  
  
Hi, Mama! she says happily, coming over to give me a hug.  
  
I give her a hug, and see Samantha's head poke out from the side of the couch. She crawls toward us. Fox smiles and goes to pick her up. He's never seen her crawl before. she squeals, giggling.   
  
Fox says with a grin.  
  
Lexie, what are you doing up still? I ask her.   
  
Gramma said I could stay up until you and Daddy got home, she says matter-of-factly.  
  
Oh she did? I ask with a grin. Well, I think it's just about time to get to bed.  
  
Okay, Mama, she says, starting up the stairs.   
  
I turn to Fox. Would you put Samantha to bed? I'm going to go say hi to Mom.  
  
  
  
I'll be upstairs in a few minutes. I'm really tired.  
  
Okay, I'll see you in a few then. He turns and heads upstairs too.  
  
I call. I walk into the kitchen, where Mom is cleaning up the dinner dishes.  
  
Hi, Dana. I heard you come in, she says.  
  
Were the girls okay?  
  
Yeah. I'd better get going, it's getting late.  
  
Okay, Mom. Good night.  
  
Good night, Dana, she says, closing the dishwasher. I'll talk to you later.  
  
I turn off the lights in the kitchen and head upstairs. Did you put both of the girls to bed already? I ask Fox.  
  
he replies from the bathroom. He turns off the water and comes back into the bedroom.  
  
Thank you, I smile.   
  
Well, the sooner they're asleep... --he takes a step toward me and puts his arms around my waist-- ...the sooner we're alone, he whispers.  
  
I say. I think I like the sound of that... We're both silent for a moment, and then I add, I missed you so much.  
  
So did I. It felt like... all those years that we were apart, all together in a month.  
  
I came to visit you every day... but it still wasn't the same. We're silent again, just standing there in the middle of the room, holding onto each other. I'll be right back. I'm going to go get ready for bed.  
  
he says as we pull apart.  
  
I come out of the bathroom a few minutes later. Fox is watching TV, and he's already half-asleep. I shake my head and smile. Then I tiptoe silently to the bed and crawl into his arms. He opens his eyes and smiles at me. he whispers.  
  
I stare at him.   
  
You, you are the one thing I know I can't live without, Dana.  
  
I open my mouth and begin to say something, when all of a sudden Samantha starts to cry. I sigh and give Fox an apologetic look. I'll be right back, I tell him, rolling out of bed.  
  
As I walk down the hallway to Samantha's room, I notice that her crying has stopped. I crack the door to Samantha's room and see Lexie standing next to the crib with her arm through the bars, patting her sister gently on the top of her head. Don't cry, Sissy, she says. Don't cry. It's okay. Know why? Daddy's home now.  
  
I step into the room and kneel down next to Lexie. What are you doing, sweetie? I ask her.  
  
Sam was crying, she tells me. But she's not now.  
  
Oh, Lexie, I say, giving the little girl a hug. Thank you for helping me with your sister.  
  
Welcome, Mama.  
  
Fox comes into the room behind me. Everything okay?  
  
Yeah. Lexie helped Samantha stop crying.  
  
Fox smiles, and I stand up and pick Samantha up. Lexie, why don't you go back to bed.  
  
she says with a yawn. Fox follows her out of the room. I smile and watch them go. Then I sit down in the rocking chair with Samantha in my arms and gently rock her back to sleep.  
  
*****  
Lexie gets back into bed, and I tuck her in. Good night, Lexie, I say, giving her her favorite teddy bear.   
  
She sits up and gives me a hug. Love you, Daddy.  
  
I-I love you too, Lexie, I say, giving her a kiss on her forehead. She lays back down and falls asleep with the stuffed animal under her arm.  
  
This was the first time Lexie ever said she loved me on her own. It was strange. I wasn't even her father, and I'd only known her for about a year, but she referred to me as Daddy,' and now she said she loved me, without being prompted by Dana or Mrs. Scully.  
  
I stand up and walk back down the hall, pausing at Samantha's room, where Dana has put the baby back in the crib. She stands there, looking down at the sleeping baby.  
  
I walk up behind her and put my arms around her. Look at her, she whispers.   
  
She's beautiful, I tell her. Both of them are. They look just like you.  
  
She sighs. Let's go to bed.  
  
I reply.  
  
She takes my hand. Come on. I follow her out of the room and to our own room.  
  
*****  
Fox sits down on the bed, and I cross to the other side and sit down too. He moves closer to me, and we sit there together, silent. Then Fox says, I've been meaning to talk to you about something.  
  
I ask, concerned.   
  
Don't worry, it's not bad. It's... He pauses, searching for words. It's the girls. Your daughters. I love them so much, Dana. I love them as if they were my own daughters. But... it's strange, knowing that they *aren't* my own. And... I'm not saying that... He pauses again.  
  
What, Fox? I ask him.  
  
Well, I was wondering if you'd... be objected to having any more children.  
  
I think about Lexie and Samantha, and how close Fox is to them, and how much he loves them. I smile. No. I wouldn't be objected.  
  
he asks me.  
  
Really. I would love nothing more than to have another child... with you. I whisper the last two words. I love you so much, Fox.  
  
Thank you, Dana, he whispers back. Thank you.  
  
~*~  
  
~*~EPILOGUE~*~  
*****  
May 19th, 2005  
6:19 am  
  
It's our first anniversary.  
  
And it seems that every time an important date comes around, we find ourselves back in the hospital.  
  
But not always for the worse.  
  
Dana is asleep in the hospital bed, and I sit next to the bed, holding her hand, and holding Samantha on my lap.   
  
A nurse comes into the room, carrying the small bundle. Mrs. Mulder? she says quietly. Dana opens her eyes, and turns to smile at me.   
  
Samantha cries with a grin, pointing at her new little sister. She sits up and cranes her neck, watching as Dana takes the tiny baby into her arms.  
  
Mrs. Scully comes into the room, taking Samantha from me. We'll leave the three of you alone, she whispers with a smile, walking out of the room and closing the door behind her.  
  
Dana smiles at me, and hands me the baby. I look down at her, smiling. This is *my* daughter. Mine, and Dana's. Ours. As much as I loved Lexie and Samantha, this was a whole new thing to me. I was *really* a father this time.   
  
Hi, Emily, I whisper to the baby. She's so beautiful, Dana.  
  
She has your eyes, she tells me.  
  
My eyes. Lexie and Samantha, they'd never look like me. They looked like their mother, and even a bit like David. But Emily... she looked like me.  
  
I smile again at my wife, knowing that we'd been a family for the past two years, and finally feeling that way.   
  
~*~THE END~*~  
  
Author's Note:  
AND THAT'S IT! Whew. This is a long one. Heh.. hopefully if you're reading this now, it means you stuck it out until the end... on my word processor, this is over 100 pages long. My novel ::grin:: My greatest work.   
  
I really hope ya enjoy this... I'd like to thank Lauren and Robbie and all the other random people that put up with me through the editing process and such... you guys rock... and I'd like to thank you, the reader, for reading my fanfic... that's a miracle. Thh. I got a little longwinded on this one, and I apologize. I hope you enjoyed it!   
  
Comments, praise, flames, and such to: GaiaScully42@yahoo.com  
  
~fin~


End file.
